They gave me a Joint Info Questionnaire to fill in yesterday and one of the questions was: "Are you anxious and depressed about your condition?" Truthfully, I answered "no". I am very anxious about the coming operation - anxious about every second of it - most especially about those days in hospital afterwards.
But I'm not depressed or anxious as such. Which is thanks to Jehovah, and his word, and his organisation, which teaches so well and so kindly.
And I also got a comforting reminder of how Jehovah will extend help and "undeserved kindness" when we ask Him. One of the young nurses who saw me yesterday was a strong young lad, a rugby player. He was fun too. The three of us laughed quite a lot over various things. And when I was explaining the enormous bruise on my arm - from the cannula they used to inject me during my time in the Tube of Terror - he was telling us that they tried to put him in it, and he simply could not go in. He could face a rugby scrum, but not that. It made him literally sick - he said he threw up afterwards.
And I knew just how he felt. That machine encloses you so tightly - every fibre of your body is telling you not to go into a space like that. But as they slid me in I kept asking Jehovah for help to keep me calm and keep me in there - and I also prayed that He would help me to keep still, as its not easy for all that time, plus there was a time when I wanted to cough - and another time when my nose itched - and my arms were pinned at my sides!
And I got through it - me the biggest wimp of all time, with a backbone of solid custard. So Jehovah did help. I stayed calm and still, as the machine swallowed me, pinned me down, and clattered "papapapapapapapapapamamamamamamama" at me for a long long time. And, apparently, they got good photos. Whether the outcome will be good, I still have to find out, but at least the info has been got.
I must now pray that Jehovah will help me to get through to people. We all need this help so much. It is literally vital, as Armageddon approaches. But He will help so much right now, in every way, with everything, IF we listen to Him and let Him.
He gave us free will - the ability to obey Him freely, because we love Him with all our heart. And He will not take back that gift.