Slapton Sands on Winterwatch

We watched the last Winterwatch last night,  excellent and very touching - including a bit of forgotten history - the story of what happened at Slapton Sands.

‘Operation Tiger’, or ‘Exercise Tiger’, was part of a series of landing exercises carried out on the beaches of south Devon prior to the D-Day landings in June 1944. However, ‘Operation Tiger’ is most famous for the disaster that occurred at Slapton Sands that resulted in the deaths of hundreds of men – some at sea and some on the beaches of Slapton Sands. Ten times more Americans died in Lyme Bay and on Slapton Sands than at Utah Beach on June 6th.                         http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/world-war-two/world-war-two-in-western-europe/d-day-index/operation-tiger/

So many deaths,  How easily we have been persuaded to fear, fight and kill each other. And how grateful I am to have found the Christian congregation- a worldwide loving brotherhood.  And I hope that all those young men, on both sides, will awake from the sleep of death when the time comes and find themselves on an earth that is truly at peace.

So I will finish with one of my favourite Thomas Hardy poems:

THE MAN HE KILLED

                   by

      Thomas Hardy

"Had he and I but met

            By some old ancient inn,

We should have sat us down to wet

            Right many a nipperkin!

            "But ranged as infantry,

            And staring face to face,

I shot at him as he at me,

            And killed him in his place.

            "I shot him dead because —

            Because he was my foe,

Just so: my foe of course he was;

            That's clear enough; although

            "He thought he'd 'list, perhaps,

            Off-hand like — just as I —

Was out of work — had sold his traps —

            No other reason why.

            "Yes; quaint and curious war is!

            You shoot a fellow down

You'd treat if met where any bar is,

            Or help to half-a-crown."

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173594

An Alien Dandelion

i had a dream last night!!   which meant that i had some real sleep, even though i woke for a loo stop at 2 a.m..  i was so tired - the thought of yet another night of only two or three hours sleep made me despair - i prayed to Jehovah about it - and i have to say that i did then sleep through till 7 - for which i am very grateful.

it was a very odd dream involving my mum in law - a chicken in the garden shed - supermarket not live  - ready to roast - but there was an alien in the garden shed too - it was like an exquisite dandelion clock - so the american military had moved in - Hollywood style americans, not real ones - hollywood usually makes americans look horrid - don't know why - saw my mum in law in the garden reflected  in the big mirror that used to be at granny's - then at the bungalow - now here, facing me as i type - knew she would be wanting her tea - must get to shed and get chicken - followed uniformed hollywood american out of front door to ask if i could go round back and get chicken - he brushed me off - no time to talk - alien business to deal with - ran down a long garden path after him - determined we would have our tea - he shouted stop stop - ran back towards me with a VERY VERY large lady - she pinched the air in front of me and crackling electricity ran across the path- there was a sort of lethal security beam there - "that would kill YOU" she said contemptuously as she held on to the beam - you are just showing off, i thought (but didn't say - showing some dreamtime common sense given how large she was).    At which point i woke up wondering what all the fuss was about - IF there are any aliens out there, they will be full of love and do us no harm.    The tragedy that has happened here on the earth will never happen again.

But why does my mind do this to me?   not that the dream was frightening in any way - and the dandelion alien was lovely - but why did i dream all that?

saw Jane my lovely physio today - she is pleased with my progress - and - aarrgghh - moved my arm further and further (until i told her where the British airmen were hiding).

happy and grateful it is going well so far - heartfelt thanks to Jehovah, to the NHS, to Captain Butterfly for taking care of me, and to the congregation family.

Cards

Two lovely cards today,   One was from my sister Rita, who sent me this perfect verse;
(Isaiah 41:10) "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness."

I am so grateful to know that and to have that timely reminder.

The second card was a beautiful print by Krysia, my old schoolfriend.   With some kind words about my little short story/novella in it,  

Very very tired - hardly slept last night - so got nothing done today - not even any studying,   A tiny tiny bit of witnessing on the internet - and i hope i will manage a little bit of studying before the day ends.

Discouragement

This was Thursday's timely and encouraging thought for the day, as i am feeling quite discouraged at the moment.

I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and handed himself over for me.—Gal. 2:20.

How can we counteract feelings of discouragement? One of the most powerful ways to do so is to meditate on the ransom. That is what the apostle Paul did. He knew how he felt at times—miserable. Rom. 7:24  Miserable man that I am! Who will rescue me from the body undergoing this death? 

 But he also knew that Christ died, not for perfect people, but for sinners. Paul recognized that the ransom applied to him personally. That same viewpoint—seeing the ransom as a personal gift from Jehovah—can help you tremendously. This does not mean that discouragement will instantly vanish. To an extent, some of us may have to battle this subtle attack until the new world. But remember: The prize will go to those who do not give up. We are ever closer to the glorious day when God’s Kingdom will establish peace and restore all faithful humans to perfection. Be determined to enter into that Kingdom—even if through many tribulations.



Many tribulations,  

I was only able to listen in to the first half hour of the meeting - then it cut out - and i could not get the link back.

Made a painful start to my shoulder physio...  the Captain has to help me - so i hope we can remember how to do the new exercises - felt sick with the pain afterwards - but it did go quite quickly,

Heard from the other Maggie - she and Dave hope to be in the uk in may.   and had long talks with Christine,and Rosemary (sisters), and with Lilian, who is so happy now her op is done and she can see again.

Falls

Talked to Lilian today- her op is scheduled for Friday - should be day surgery - so i will ring her again that evening.   She too had a bad fall about the same time i did - as has one of my sisters in the congregation - who has fallen and cracked her shoulder.  What is happening to us all?

I start my physio tomorrow.    It is going to be quite painful apparently...

Captain Butterfly was cross with me last night.  I had made a big effort and got myself undressed and into my jim jams,  He pointed out quite rightly that i am supposed to be very very careful about any shoulder movement for the next few weeks.  So i won't be doing that again.

Felt depressed today.  But was nice to talk to Lilian - and I got a lovely get well card from a lady on my magazine route.

But, on the doubleplusgood side, the hospital are happy with the x-rays they did yesterday- and the dressing is now off the wound.

WALKIES!

"Walkies!"  ordered Captain Butterfly this morning, and off we went to the end of the pier and back.   It was really cold - ice in the air - but mercifully not on the ground - so i have had a bit of exercise, back to square one though, as 30 minutes exhausted me...   oh well... as the Inspired Scriptures warn us:

"The span of our life is 70 years, Or 80 if one is especially strong. But they are filled with trouble and sorrow; They quickly pass by, and away we fly." - Psalm 90:10

And i will be seventy next year.

How quickly our lives go at the moment.

Cathy rang - she will pop round and see me tomorrow,  And i had a long phone chat with Rosemary yesterday and she and John are kindly going to take the magazines round to the lady whose name i don't yet know.   She has been on my mind since i spoke to her in december, and i had made a note in the diary to see her asap in 2016,

I listened in on the phone link on Sunday morning.

operations

I am glad that I did not read Andrea Dworkin's account of her knee surgery before I had mine,  I didn't even get morphine injections.

She said:
"I still don't know what he did to me but I came to the conclusion that the operation was barbaric, involving as it did the sawing out of the arthritis, which meant sawing through bones. It was like being kneecapped, twice, or having one's knees and bones hammered and broken into bits. After the operation I was in a nightmare of narcotics and untouchable pain. There were morphine shots. I asked for them and got them often. Even morphine shots in the upper arm hurt."
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2005/apr/23/features.weekend

Yes.  I was awake and unsedated throughout the op, and it did involve violent hammering, sawing, and the smell of burning bone.     Have no idea what happened during my emergency shoulder replacement, except that at some stage somebody who was looking at a screen said to somebody else "It won't WORK" - because i kept hearing those words, exact intonation, in my left ear for a few days after the op, just as i was trying to go to sleep.  I heard words in my right ear too, but not those, and not consistent,   The words are connected with no pain or fear, so I  was properly out - thank God, and my young anaethesist.  They (the voices) just kept jolting me awake when i was desperately trying fo sleep.

sadly i did not sleep through again last night,  it was the usual 3 a.m. wake up.

Landmarks

Back to counting recovery landmarks - and last night i slept right through to 6 a.m.!    That is the first full night's sleep since my accident - mostly i have only been getting 3 to 4 hours.

The horrors in the news are startling - and it also sounds as if we are in for a big economic crash.   Difficult times hard to deal with - 1914 having been a landmark date in Bible prophecy, marking the beginning of the end of the current wicked system of things on the earth - a time of great hope, along with the horrors and the difficulty.

The Captain did a big shop yesterday - lots of fruit and veg plus a Cooks chicken for our supper with Jacks.  He kindly posted the first of the Jan mags - i hope to plod though them a few a day - one-handed - and he also posted the copy of my book i had promised to send to Janet,  And he went off and did his Sussar training.  I am more dependent on him than during my knee recovery, but at least he can get out.

Today?    More magazines, and some studying i hope. But we began with a shower - Captain Butterfly hosing me down.

Flowers and Phone Calls

The Captain was getting me dressed this morning - gloomy - another broken night - arm very painful - cramped in sling 24/7 - 4 more weeks to go - self pity self pity- whinge whinge - when two lovely things happened - Micah rang- they will be over to see me after lunch - and then the doorbell rang - and there was a box of beautiful tiger lilies plus card plus chocs from Julia - a very recent retiree from Planet Expat.    They are all in bud just ready to burst out.

It has cheered me up no end.

Life on Planet Sling...

...is difficult and uncomfortable and will continue till mid Feb at least

The news this morning is full of the death of David Bowie - and while i wasn't particularly a fan, i was sorry to hear of it - that is another bit of the Sixties past gone - how desperately people were looking for gurus and guidance at that time as certainties crumbled.  Yet all the time the God of Abraham was sending his witnesses to our doors.   They were unglittery, quiet and neat.  And how i wish i had listened to them before i did,

Now i must once again think of ways to tell others what was told to me as i won't be out on the doors for some weeks.

Feel so tired - and desperately need a good nights sleep.  we both do as the poor Captain suffers with me.

I listened in to the meeting on Sunday - full of sound Biblical advice about creating strong happy families - and Jackie provided supper on Saturday - lasagne - did not need to be cut up for me

Physio

First trip to physio yesterday - went well - though i am aching a bit now - we have the sling at the correct angle - thank you Captain B and your wonderful internet research,   Today is a wound dressing change and i hope to find out whether i have stitches that need removing or not.

Yesterday night i listened in to the meeting on the telephone link - new format - very interesting - increasing emphasis on practical application of all we are learning from God's word.

SuperBea and her Amazing Sewing Machine

After my op - to partially replace smashed shoulder- i was taken tender care of in recovery - and then delivered to the wards - evening - post holiday - nerve block wearing off - no morphine pump - as i began to come back on line found myself in great pain in an op gown with no back at all as the enormous shoulder bandage and sling held everything at the front - bedpans a nightmare - leave you on them - not answering bells or calls - so when wanted to go to loo again wanted to totter there myself - but how?  ward full of visitors - managed to get Bea's silk robe from locker and get over good arm head and bad arm and took self to loo,   Brilliant.

the state of the loos is another story- one i don't think i can face telling.

worst of all, somebody screamed in agony night and day - night and day - hard to explain what a desperate experience it was.

Blow the wind Southerly

The radio played "Blow the wind Southerly" by Kathleen Ferrier on Sunday morning,and it sent such a pang through me.   I was right back in the 1950s, listening to it with my mother.     We drove back down south today - and completed the first of my 6 weeks in a sling - if all goes well.

Broken Shoulder

Poor Captain Butterfly is back on full time care - i am in a sling for 6 weeks.   The shock of it all and the post-op hospital days have left me very down and traumatised,   A high spot today was talking to Ann of the Cape on Skype.  And Jo is coming over for lunch tomorrow.

I need to blog about Bea riding to the rescue on her wonderful sewing machine and explaining just why that silk dressing gown she made for me was such a Godsend.