I may have overdosed on climbing literature as last night I dreamt that my bad leg was a mountaineer in trouble high on Everest and I had to save it. We were trying to get it/him into a house. It was very painful, but I began to wonder if there could be a house in the death zone on Everest. I was sure there couldn't but wasn't able work out why. Then I woke up - 1.30 in the morning - had a cup of tea - and internetted for a while to try and get my sanity back. And let the leg calm down from its mountaintop ordeal.
The Captain's log contains the first courting couple of Spring. Youth! Its almost painful heading into spring when you know that you are facing your winter years.
Still, as all us old crocks say, we would only go back there knowing then what we know now. And that of course is what I hope the Captain and me will do - and all of you - through the ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Its Jehovah's promise to us. Only it will be a restoration to a youth we never knew. We, the children of Adam, are dying from the moment we are born. But from the moment after Armageddon - or from the moment of our resurrection into the restored earthly Paradise - we will be returning to life and perfection.
We don't actually know what it is to be alive - not to be dying. But remembering, dimly, some of the bounce and energy of youth, I know it will be more wonderful than we can imagine.
The Ransom will be memorialised in your local Kingdom Hall next month and I will be blogging an invitation.
Monday, 10 March 2014
Sunday, 9 March 2014
Men and Angels
An interesting point from the Watchtower study today - which I attended by phone. The Inspired Scriptures tell us that when Jehovah created the angels, he created each one individually. But when it came to man, Jehovah told Adam and Eve to bear children, to fill the earth. He delegated the job to his creation. And what a wonderful work it could and should have been - bringing nothing but joy - if Adam and Eve had not chosen to cut themselves off from their Creator by setting their own moral standards.
We also touched again on what happened at Babel. Had Jehovah not confused the languages then and scattered mankind over the surface of the earth, we would have brought the earth to ruin before the Messiah even arrived.
What I have I achieved this sunny day? I did put away the washing and arranged a curry tea for us. Arranged, rather than "cooked", though I did do the rice. Listened in to the meeting - the public talk was about the earth being made for us to live on forever. The speaker talked about the immense recuperative and regenerative powers the earth has - the care and complexity that went into its making.
Apparently there have been some photos of the earth published as seen by the Explorer on Mars. It appears as the bright evening star - a jewel in space.
We also touched again on what happened at Babel. Had Jehovah not confused the languages then and scattered mankind over the surface of the earth, we would have brought the earth to ruin before the Messiah even arrived.
What I have I achieved this sunny day? I did put away the washing and arranged a curry tea for us. Arranged, rather than "cooked", though I did do the rice. Listened in to the meeting - the public talk was about the earth being made for us to live on forever. The speaker talked about the immense recuperative and regenerative powers the earth has - the care and complexity that went into its making.
Apparently there have been some photos of the earth published as seen by the Explorer on Mars. It appears as the bright evening star - a jewel in space.
Saturday, 8 March 2014
Don't Panic!!
IS LYDIA THE GREAT WHITE SHARK HEADING FOR BRITAIN??!! Headline in Daily Mail today.
There is a great white shark at loose in the Ocean... I hope you have your doors and windows locked - and all your plugholes firmly sealed.
I am coming to the end of my hospital/convalescent reading. I wonder if I can persuade Captain B to order me some more? I have just been reading about Caitlin Davies' "Place of Reeds", and would rather like to read it. One of my most successful hospital books has been Margaret Forster's "Hidden Lives". Please read it.
A day of feeling tired and sad. But a lovely email from Julia of Arabia, a loving phone call from Malcolm (an elder in the congregation), and from Maggie, and care from Captain Butterfly. So I feel bad about feeling sad. But I expect its just a reaction to all the shock. I am wondering too if its a kind of delayed sadness. I remember I felt euphoric when they let me out last time - I didn't even let myself think about another operation to come.
I managed to make the thawed out cherries into a crumble - and did the washing. It was a nice drying day - sunny with a cold breeze.
There is a great white shark at loose in the Ocean... I hope you have your doors and windows locked - and all your plugholes firmly sealed.
I am coming to the end of my hospital/convalescent reading. I wonder if I can persuade Captain B to order me some more? I have just been reading about Caitlin Davies' "Place of Reeds", and would rather like to read it. One of my most successful hospital books has been Margaret Forster's "Hidden Lives". Please read it.
A day of feeling tired and sad. But a lovely email from Julia of Arabia, a loving phone call from Malcolm (an elder in the congregation), and from Maggie, and care from Captain Butterfly. So I feel bad about feeling sad. But I expect its just a reaction to all the shock. I am wondering too if its a kind of delayed sadness. I remember I felt euphoric when they let me out last time - I didn't even let myself think about another operation to come.
I managed to make the thawed out cherries into a crumble - and did the washing. It was a nice drying day - sunny with a cold breeze.
Friday, 7 March 2014
Two Aunties
Both aunts phoned today - so that was nice. And Jackie called by for a cup of tea and a chat. It all helped as I feel so tired and rather down today. Its natural I suppose, a part of the healing process. The Captain was out butterflying - there will be some very early Sussex butterflies on his blog. He picked up some choccie biccies on the way back, and made the meals - baked potatoes and salad, with yoghurt - and soup (tomato) with toast and frozen yoghurt.
I think that, little though I did yesterday, it was a bonsai bridge too far. I have tackled the butterfly paperwork though, and got the envelopes ready so that the Captain can make up the packages and post them tomorrow.
The Roger emailed and i was telling him about chatting to my South African anaethetist, until I had to be put on some oxygen and could no longer talk. Roger is on The Cape at the moment, probably watching the whale shoals sail by his picture windows.
The operating theatre team were as lovely as before - kind and consoling and, given I lived through it, efficient. But no students this time. I was a bit of leading lady last time, with a vast audience. I was about to summon them: "Come along, you lot. Its not over till the fat lady sings." But at that moment the oxygen mask came down and silenced me...
I think that, little though I did yesterday, it was a bonsai bridge too far. I have tackled the butterfly paperwork though, and got the envelopes ready so that the Captain can make up the packages and post them tomorrow.
The Roger emailed and i was telling him about chatting to my South African anaethetist, until I had to be put on some oxygen and could no longer talk. Roger is on The Cape at the moment, probably watching the whale shoals sail by his picture windows.
The operating theatre team were as lovely as before - kind and consoling and, given I lived through it, efficient. But no students this time. I was a bit of leading lady last time, with a vast audience. I was about to summon them: "Come along, you lot. Its not over till the fat lady sings." But at that moment the oxygen mask came down and silenced me...
Medical Confusions
Marianne in the next bed - valiant white-haired lady - with various new knees and hips - I think it was a hip this time - was always convinced she had been given the wrong lunch. "Did you order cauliflower with your lunch Sue?" "Yes, Marianne, I did." "Ah. I got your cauliflower then, and you got my turnip mash." "No, I got my cauliflower, as ordered. You ordered the turnip for supper." "Ah, yes. Of course."
She sent her lunch back on the day I left the ward on the grounds that they had given her cauliflower, not the carrots and peas she had ordered. They came patiently back: "No Marianne, you ordered carrots and peas with your supper. This is your lunch. With cauliflower, as ordered."
I think if they had got us to order our supper after we had had our lunch, rather than before,our elderly brains might have been better able to cope.
As it was, when I was asked for the millionth time how old I was, I said "47", thus knocking a good twenty years off my age... Which come to think of it might be why my maths teacher wrote that dream warning to them not to trust my maths.
Yesterday I felt very tired - not surprising, my body has been through another major shock and has a lot of repair work to do. Feel so grateful that we are so "wonderfully made" that even in this state of imperfection, the healing processes are still miraculous, and carry on unsupervised by me. All I have to do is to balance rest and exercise, try to keep cheerful, and eat healthily. I went to the meeting via phone last night, which certainly helped build me up. We had lasagne and salad last night. I am back on part time food duties. I got my own lunch - bread, goats cheese and fruit - made the salad and its dressing, and put the Cook's lasagne in the oven. Col served it up. I am planning baked potatoes with the rest of the salad today.
The Captain went out on his first photo trip and I managed fine.
Today I must at least start to tackle the butterfly paperwork, and also begin the struggle to get the appointment with my young surgeon to get my stitches removed. Or rather, my staples.
She sent her lunch back on the day I left the ward on the grounds that they had given her cauliflower, not the carrots and peas she had ordered. They came patiently back: "No Marianne, you ordered carrots and peas with your supper. This is your lunch. With cauliflower, as ordered."
I think if they had got us to order our supper after we had had our lunch, rather than before,our elderly brains might have been better able to cope.
As it was, when I was asked for the millionth time how old I was, I said "47", thus knocking a good twenty years off my age... Which come to think of it might be why my maths teacher wrote that dream warning to them not to trust my maths.
Yesterday I felt very tired - not surprising, my body has been through another major shock and has a lot of repair work to do. Feel so grateful that we are so "wonderfully made" that even in this state of imperfection, the healing processes are still miraculous, and carry on unsupervised by me. All I have to do is to balance rest and exercise, try to keep cheerful, and eat healthily. I went to the meeting via phone last night, which certainly helped build me up. We had lasagne and salad last night. I am back on part time food duties. I got my own lunch - bread, goats cheese and fruit - made the salad and its dressing, and put the Cook's lasagne in the oven. Col served it up. I am planning baked potatoes with the rest of the salad today.
The Captain went out on his first photo trip and I managed fine.
Today I must at least start to tackle the butterfly paperwork, and also begin the struggle to get the appointment with my young surgeon to get my stitches removed. Or rather, my staples.
Thursday, 6 March 2014
Operation Dreams
Once again, though I don't think I was as shocked as last time - I got some effective post-op pain meds for a start - I can't put things together. What happened on the Saturday? Its a blur. But I do remember a series of small sleeps with very vivid dreams.
At one point, I was looking at the blue hospital folder at the foot of my bed and, to my horror, I found that my old maths teacher had sent in a letter to warn the hospital how stupid I was at maths - including a whole load of sums I had got wrong. "I didn't know they went THAT far back?!" panicked my dream self.
Then the nurses were dancing in the middle of the ward in white Laura Ashley dresses sprigged with red flowers.
And then the dream Captain Butterfly and I were getting married again - renewing our vows, I suppose. But, unlike our first modest family and friends Registery Office wedding, this one was being held in Chichester Cathedral! It was packed. I had about a mile of aisle to walk down. And I had turned in up my old green jacket, a white t-shirt, and an old skirt. I don't think I had even combed my hair. It was a nightmare. Or at the least, a high anxiety dream.
Yesterday - before that fades too - did my emails - took my meds - watched House Doctor in the early hours, as I have just done now. Opened the first cards to come - spoke to Jackie - took and made some phone calls - including Mark, Audrey and Maggie. And cousin Sheila rang. Hopefully we will able to get together for a pub lunch come the summer. Am in a lot of what is called "discomfort", i.e. the knee is very painful. But I have already set off once without my crutches! Though, to my physio's horror should she find out, I put myself back on my zimmer. I had a violent arthritis attack in my shoulder in the early hours yesterday. Hope to be back on crutches as soon as it has subsided.
At one point, I was looking at the blue hospital folder at the foot of my bed and, to my horror, I found that my old maths teacher had sent in a letter to warn the hospital how stupid I was at maths - including a whole load of sums I had got wrong. "I didn't know they went THAT far back?!" panicked my dream self.
Then the nurses were dancing in the middle of the ward in white Laura Ashley dresses sprigged with red flowers.
And then the dream Captain Butterfly and I were getting married again - renewing our vows, I suppose. But, unlike our first modest family and friends Registery Office wedding, this one was being held in Chichester Cathedral! It was packed. I had about a mile of aisle to walk down. And I had turned in up my old green jacket, a white t-shirt, and an old skirt. I don't think I had even combed my hair. It was a nightmare. Or at the least, a high anxiety dream.
Yesterday - before that fades too - did my emails - took my meds - watched House Doctor in the early hours, as I have just done now. Opened the first cards to come - spoke to Jackie - took and made some phone calls - including Mark, Audrey and Maggie. And cousin Sheila rang. Hopefully we will able to get together for a pub lunch come the summer. Am in a lot of what is called "discomfort", i.e. the knee is very painful. But I have already set off once without my crutches! Though, to my physio's horror should she find out, I put myself back on my zimmer. I had a violent arthritis attack in my shoulder in the early hours yesterday. Hope to be back on crutches as soon as it has subsided.
Wednesday, 5 March 2014
Operation Friday
It seems an age since me and my crutches and my cushions (to raise the chair) were sitting in frozen terror at the hospital 7.30 on Friday morning. I can't quite believe that it is done, dusted, and hopefully over. IF all continues to go well. We hobbled slowly and painfully up to the ward. Captain Butterfly was not allowed to stay with me this time, which was upsetting, but probably nicer for him.
The prelims dragged their weary way - I was last on the list that morning, so didn't actually arrive in the operating theatre until nearly 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I was offered (and took) two more of those pre-op fizzy drinks during the wait. I was too scared to feel either hungry or thirsty but they say it is better if you take them. My young surgeon made a lot more of my being a Jehovah's Witness this time - double checking the position about blood. He was fine about it, just wanted to make sure.
At one point one of the preliminary nurses told me she was going to observe my breathing for a few minutes.
Instantly I forgot how to breathe. I was beginning to turn blue - with a crash team seeming imminent - when she looked away and I was able to do it again. "Never tell the patient you are going to do that" said one nurse thoughtfully.
On the way into the theatre, a nurse came up to me to say that she had a cousin who was a Jehovah's Witness - and so she had come over to say hello to me. I asked her to say hello back. It gave me a nice warm feeling. I prayed constantly to Jehovah through the whole five days. And what a difference it made. I needed so much help.
The prelims dragged their weary way - I was last on the list that morning, so didn't actually arrive in the operating theatre until nearly 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I was offered (and took) two more of those pre-op fizzy drinks during the wait. I was too scared to feel either hungry or thirsty but they say it is better if you take them. My young surgeon made a lot more of my being a Jehovah's Witness this time - double checking the position about blood. He was fine about it, just wanted to make sure.
At one point one of the preliminary nurses told me she was going to observe my breathing for a few minutes.
Instantly I forgot how to breathe. I was beginning to turn blue - with a crash team seeming imminent - when she looked away and I was able to do it again. "Never tell the patient you are going to do that" said one nurse thoughtfully.
On the way into the theatre, a nurse came up to me to say that she had a cousin who was a Jehovah's Witness - and so she had come over to say hello to me. I asked her to say hello back. It gave me a nice warm feeling. I prayed constantly to Jehovah through the whole five days. And what a difference it made. I needed so much help.
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