Diamond Hard Determination

Col is improving every day.  And is doing more and more.  He has hoovered the flat, and washed all the windows - and washed my car. It lives outside, and we have seagulls.  And when I got back from the meeting on Sunday morning, I found he was cooking our lunch - chicken veggie soup, berries and yoghurt.  That was a lovely surprise.

My worry is that he is overdoing it. But he will not be told.

And we have taken to sitting out on our balcony again in the evening with a glass of wine - a very small one in my case, as I am diabetic.

Rather than looking exactly like Kate Moss, I am now looking like a giant hard-boiled egg, as when I went to the hairdressers on Saturday I said, incautiously, to the girl that she could take a bit more off than usual.  So I was scalped...  the hair itself looks nice, nicely cut, and my hair has some curl - or "movement" as it seems to be called now - when its short. But it's the rest of me.  Oh well, at least it is neat.  Which cannot usually be said of my hair.

The weather has become hot and summery, but there was a cool breeze off the sea on Sunday night - most refreshing.

The title of the Circuit Overseer's talk at the Kingdom Hall on Saturday, for the pioneers, was Declaring the Good News with Diamond Hard Determination, And it is the occasion for the photo of the Diamond-backed Moth that heads the blog.  It is taken, of course, by Captain Moth-Butterfly, a photographer with a lot of determination of his own.

I was a little hampered by still only having the one hearing aid - the second one now being in for its service - but I got all the talk. I couldn't catch much of the comments as, unlike at the regular meetings, there was no mike.

And its harder than ever to tell where sounds are coming from.

The C.O. gave the public talk on Sunday, which was How can you find real Joy? - then we had the shortened Watchtower study, no paragraphs read, followed by his last talk for this visit: Rejoice in the Hope.

So a lot of encouragement all in all. The hope that the Bible holds out, enjoying life forever in the restored earthly paradise is such a cause for rejoicing.  

No matter what we have in this current system of things on the earth, be it youth, good health (both distant memories for us), immense wealth, a fleet of private jets, we cannot keep it.

In the new system, under the loving rule of the Kingdom of God, we will have "the glorious freedom of the children of God".  It will be a freedom and a joy that we can keep, forever - or for as long as we want to have the joy of knowing and serving and learning about our loving Creator.

And in the meantime, I have to rely on Jehovah to give me the courage and determination to keep on witnessing to the Kingdom, as on my own, I have a backbone of solid custard.  People urgently need to know that we are all in "the valley of the decision"  and how much happiness is ahead if we make the right choice.

The Rented World

Col continues to improve every day, despite the painful foot.  It's another medical week - Worthing hospital for him, Specsavers for moi. 

Bea has given me something positive to think about by suggesting a short story, set on a canal boat.  She wants it to be funny, not scary. Which is more difficult, but if I can write it, maybe she will illustrate it. I am also reading  Mark P. Henderson's Perilaus II, with a view to a blog review.  It is a very interesting book, about a writer who wakes up to find himself trapped in the thriller he is writing.

The catheter has now been removed, so hopefully Col will be in a lot less of that famous "discomfort" from now on.  We were walking back from the hospital to where we had parked the car on Friday afternoon, hand and hand, and I was thinking how just yesterday we were a young married couple.  Now we are Darby and Joan, tottering along.

And that set me thinking about Philip Larkin's powerful poem Aubade.  Larkin had a horror of the coming death, the nothingness, from being a small child, and he wrote about it so vividly.  In Aubade he calls this "the rented world", the whole "intricate rented world" - the world in which we have such a short stay.

I hope that God will wake him during the thousand years and he will have the prospect before him of living on this lovely planet earth forever - no longer on a short term rental as we are now.  I hope we will all be there.

This morning I went to my first Pioneer Meeting.  I have been pioneering in a very minor way - just a minimum of 15 hours Kingdom preaching a month - for the last 3 months, so its the first time I have been entitled to go. The Circuit Overseer talked to us for an hour. It was very encouraging. And when I got back, Col made me some lunch!  Which was a lovely surprise, especially as its shows how much better he is feeling.

I thought the beautiful Brimstone moth - photographed by Captain Moth-Butterfly of course - was appropriate to head this blog, as in the poem I mentioned, Philip Larkin called the world's religions "that vast moth-eaten musical brigade, created to pretend we never die".

When I quoted that to the Captain, he was indignant at what he felt was anti-mothism, as  most of them do not eat clothes or carpets.  Which was not at all the point I wanted him to get from it.

A Pair of Old Crocks - and a Pretty Parasol

A bit of a downturn for the poor Captain on Tuesday - his gout seems to have returned...  What next I wonder?

I too am limping painfully around. What a pair of old crocks we are.   Yet, only yesterday it seems, we were a young married couple. 

On a more Doubleplusgood note, it is the Circuit Overseer visit this week. He will have lots of encouragement for us.  Which is something we all need.

His first talk last night - the Thursday night meeting always moves to Tuesday night on the week of the C.O. visit - took as its theme 2 Peter 1:12, which says: For this reason I intend always to remind you of these things, although you know them and are well-established in the truth that is present in you.

And our brother went on to outline five points we can work on to help to keep us firmly established in the truth, as Satan's world will do all it can to coax, persuade, or force us off the narrow road that leads to live.

Here is another Emily Dickinson poem - an excuse for a butterfly photo for the blog. Emily was a discovery I made in my first year at Uni. I had never heard of her before. I have been a fan of her poetry ever since. 

Students were not political back in those days - well, maybe they were at the LSE, but not at my provincial redbrick. Which was  a relief looking back, as what did we really know about anything - let alone how we were going to set the world to rights?

That is a task that is beyond any human government, even the most well-meaning and the most well-experienced.  And it was certainly beyond a teenage student wrestling with the dilemma of buying her own groceries for the first time.

Anyway, to Emily's poem, praising the lovely creation, on a warm summer afternoon.  I love the way she describes the flight of the butterfly, and the image of the night as the tide coming in and obliterating all:

From Cocoon Forth a Butterfly

From Cocoon forth a Butterfly
As Lady from her Door
Emerged—a Summer Afternoon—
Repairing Everywhere—

Without Design—that I could trace
Except to stray abroad
On Miscellaneous Enterprise
The Clovers—understood—

Her pretty Parasol be seen
Contracting in a Field
Where Men made Hay—
Then struggling hard
With an opposing Cloud—

Where Parties—Phantom as Herself—
To Nowhere—seemed to go
In purposeless Circumference—
As 'twere a Tropic Show—

And notwithstanding Bee—that worked—
And Flower—that zealous blew—
This Audience of Idleness
Disdained them, from the Sky—

Till Sundown crept—a steady Tide—
And Men that made the Hay—
And Afternoon—and Butterfly—
Extinguished—in the Sea—

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/from-cocoon-forth-a-butterfly/

The Captain Returns.

Here is my poem about Spectacles. Too long for a Haiku alas.

I have just been down to Specsavers
And now I am rather cross
They don't stock a single pair
of spectacle frames
that will make me look like Kate Moss.

But good news re Col.  He was returned to me late on Friday evening.  It was a long day, he was first in but last in the queue for the operating theatre, so he was also last out. The nurse was leaning over the top of the staircase when I arrived shouting down "He's on his way". And the Captain, looking surprisingly well, appeared from the lift with his bag of medication.  Clearly they could not close the Clinic and go home until their last patient left.

We had a good night's sleep, apart from one excursion to get painkillers, which I apparently slept through.  I must have been exhausted.

Stress and worry, stress and worry - and all the world over.  The war in the Ukraine continues, causing immense suffering to both Ukrainian and Russian people.  So what was the point of all the intensive (if rather selective) memorialising of the horrors of World War 2, as we do not seem to have learnt one single lesson from it.  Getting ill in the middle of a war zone must be a nightmare.  What a tragic mess it all is.

But, in contrast, Jehovah, the God of Abraham, is already teaching millions of us - from "every tribe and nation and tongue" - to "study war no more".  He is teaching us to live in peace, as the brothers and sisters we truly are.  I was thinking about that as, at our Thursday night meeting, we were continuing our study of Christian neutrality, leaning not to take sides in the divisive politics and the cruel wars of the world - not even in our hearts.

And indeed, how could we be one united family if we did take sides?  How long before we were actually fighting and killing each other, brother against brother, sister against sister?

We had a quiet Saturday, Col eating well and sleeping a bit. And, a landmark moment today, he woke me up to say that breakfast was ready - real coffee and all!  A great moment, as not only was it lovely to wake up to breakfast, but even lovelier to know that the Captain was up to flying the coffee machine once again.

May-flower

I found this charming little poem by Emily Dickinson and wanted to share it:

May-Flower

May-Flower
Pink, small, and punctual,
Aromatic, low,
Covert in April,
Candid in May,
Dear to the moss,
Known by the knoll,
Next to the robin
In every human soul.
Bold little beauty,
Bedecked with thee,
Nature forswears
Antiquity.

https://www.infoplease.com/primary-sources/poetry/emily-dickinson/poems-219

I hope to find a suitable flower or robin photo from Captain B to head this blog. His appetite continues to be good and he is not sleeping as much. He definitely has more energy. 

On Tuesday morning John (Oz) and I had a Zoom session, doing a little chat together for the upcoming MABLE event. It turns out that we are both on the shortlist for the short story competition! John recorded it and sent it off to Fantastic Books. so we hope it will be OK. We kept it short, just about 15 mins, and tried to keep it interesting, i.e. not talking too much about our own writing processes.

The Book cover - from Aunt Bea's painting - has turned out so well. And, once it is published, it will feature on my blog. And I got a call for help from a sibling needing a partner for Thursday night, so I agreed, though I will only be there in pixel form.

Wednesday I hitched up the wagon (taxi) and got myself to the Audiologist in Worthing.  I still need another trip to have the second hearing aid serviced, but I don't want to be without it until Col is back home after his hospital trip.  I had a terrific wrestle with my Smartphone (which is still outsmarting me at every turn) when trying to get a taxi to take me back. Fortunately Captain Butterfly donned his superhero tights, realised I was trying to get through to him, phoned me and then phoned for the taxi. 

I was able to talk to one of my taxi drivers about the Biblical standard for marriage, in which the wife is to have "deep respect" for her husband, while he loves and cherishes her, as somebody very precious to him.  He seems - rightly - disturbed about the way the world is going, so I hope, and must remember to pray, that he will think over what we talked about.  On the second journey we talked about Thailand, as the wife of my driver is Thai.  I was telling him how quiet Chang Mai was when we first went there - well on our only visit there - more than thirty years ago. Apparently it is a real tourist hub now.

It is very early Thursday morning, and I have an appointment with Specsavers, and will presumably find out if I have now reached the stage where my cataracts can be operated on.  It will take a long and dreary hour to go through it all, but it must be done.

Then I will have to chose the frame for my new glasses.  I am still trying to find the one that will make me look exactly like Kate Moss.  It had not turned up the last time I was in.

Maybe this time!   You will know if so, as a photo of me will head every blog from now on.

Dynamic Energy

"It started as an unremarkable flicker in the night sky. But closer observations revealed that astronomers had captured the largest cosmic explosion ever witnessed, an event thought to have been triggered by a giant cloud of gas being gobbled up by a supermassive black hole.

The flare-up, traced to 8bn light years away, is more than 10 times brighter than any known supernova and has so far lasted more than three years, making it the most energetic explosion on record."

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/may/12/astronomers-capture-largest-cosmic-explosion-ever-witnessed

Isaiah 40:26:

“Lift up your eyes to heaven and see.
 Who has created these things?
 It is the One who brings out their army by number;
 He calls them all by name.
 Because of his vast dynamic energy and his awe-

 inspiring power,
 Not one of them is missing."

It all comes from the vast dynamic energy of our Creator, Jehovah.  And as yet we really only have a glimpse of the immense universe his energy is creating, even though on a clear night we can see an immensity of stars. I am thinking back many years to when we lay on the grass somewhere in Tasmania looking up at the starriest sky I have ever seen,  the Milky Way shimmering across the night sky.

I thought then that if I did not already know there was a Creator, that night sky would have told me. And can you imagine learning and seeing more and more as the centuries go by?

The photo is of a local sky, taken by Captain B. Who knows how far away that cosmic explosion was?  And for sure he was not there with his camera at the time.

And in any case, Col and I are very short of any kind of energy at the moment.  But he is still eating.  Every morning I make him his usual bowl of wallpaper paste (aka porridge), and he eats it all.  A few days ago it was only a few listless mouthfuls. And after a chicken and veggie soup for lunch (followed by rhubarb crumble and custard), he had sausage, egg, tomato and a slice of bread and butter for his tea.

Sunday there was no meeting, as the congregation was at the Haysbridge Assembly.  And now that I am sure the Captain's appetite has returned,  I broached the Cook's lasagne from the freezer and he had that for his tea, with yoghurt. It will feed us both tonight, even though it was, officially, a portion for two.

It reminded me of all those Saturday nights we had with Jacks down the years, as we often used to have something from Cooks together, along with a bottle of wine, our favourite being NZ Oyster Bay.  We were so close.  And now she is just a voice on the phone.

The Return of the Kaa

the

We spent some of Thursday morning sitting out on the balcony, watching the sea, and catching some rays.

My car came back to us on Tuesday morning after its long absence. The kindly garage guy from SussexAutoCentre delivered it to us.  It all looks fine and hopefully will now work. So I need to make my Specsavers appointment and try to get some help for my poor old eyes.

We had our pre-assessment - or rather Captain B's pre-assessment - at Worthing on Wednesday. As we had to make an early start, our appointment being at 9.00 a.m., which also meant a drive through the rush hour, we booked taxis there and back. Lovely taxi drivers both way - Apollo taxis going and Arrow taxis returning - highly recommended. And a big doubleplusgood was that though we had been told the procedure would take 2 to 3 hours, it took less than an hour!  Well done, Worthing hospital.

We drove there and back through a perfect May day, blossom everywhere, blue skies, scudding white clouds.  Thunderstorms are expected though, and there are flood warnings in parts of the country.

And instead of having to coax him to eat something I am now kept on the go - flying backwards and forwards with food in my beak - keeping up with his appetite.  A very encouraging sign.

In the afternoon I was able to get together with a congregation sibling and do some letter witnessing.  At the moment I am saying this:

The Christian Greek Scriptures, or New Testament, tell us what Jesus did when he was on the earth. He fed the hungry, healed the sick, calmed the storm, and even raised the dead. Isaiah actually speaks of a time, here on the earth, when “No resident will say: ‘I am sick’” (Isaiah 33:24)

Wasn’t Jesus showing us what he can and will do when he is ruling over the earth as the King of Jehovah’s Kingdom?  Under its loving rule all causes for suffering will be gone.

That promise in Isaiah is especially dear to my heart at the moment.

And on a much more trivial note, we also have our telly working again, which is such a relief as we are both very tired and not up to much more than dozing in front of Bargain Hunt, and Countdown and suchlike There is a highly recommended series on at the moment called "Malpractice", set, I assume, in a hospital, but it does not seem quite the subject to take our minds off things at the moment. Maybe we will watch it later. Much later. When, please God, his operation is successfully over.

Kings, Queens and Coronations

The patient is getting his appetite back!  That is such good news.  He is eating again, small but regular meals.  Our medical procedures start this week, and I will be so glad when they are done.

We have the pre-op assessment - his; the hearing aid repair - hers; and the day surgery - his.

I guess the new Carolean Era has officially begun as King Charles III was crowned at Westminster Abbey on a rainy Saturday.  We also have a new Queen, Camilla the First.  We watched the ceremony off and on, as we are both housebound, Col limited to slow zimmers between bed, armchair and computer chair, and me helping him in a zimmery sort of way.

We haven't come to blows over whose turn it is for the zimmer yet, but I fear it may only be a matter of time.

We felt for the newly crowned couple, as they are the same age as us.  It must have seemed a very long day. They stood up to it all well as far as we know - we last saw them on the balcony in their heavy crowns, his more blingy, hers more elegant, waving to the crowds that had packed The Mall.

There was a sadness about it all.  Or was the sadness in me, not the occasion?

But the King we need, and long for, is the King of Jehovah's Kingdom, Jesus Christ, the rider on the white horse of the book of Revelation.  He knows and loves every one of his subjects.  And he will lead us back to our Creator, Jehovah, and to the life and perfection that our first parents so tragically lost.

Jesus called himself "the door for the sheep".

"So Jesus said again: “Most truly I say to you, I am the door for the sheep.
All those who have come in place of me are thieves and plunderers; but the sheep have not listened to them.
I am the door; whoever enters through me will be saved, and that one will go in and out and find pasturage.
The thief does not come unless it is to steal and slay and destroy.
 I have come that they may have life and have it in abundance.
I am the fine shepherd;
 the fine shepherd surrenders his life in behalf of the sheep. - John 10:7-11

Jesus said he came so that we might have life - and in abundance.  Through the ransom sacrifice of his perfect human life we can live forever in the restored earthly paradise, enjoying "the glorious freedom of the children of God". 

It is a freedom that we, the damaged children of Adam, have never yet known.

In the meantime, I wish our new King and Queen well, and hope that they will seek for their Creator and really find him.  They will find a joy and freedom in the restored earthly paradise that "the world" cannot ever give.

On Moth Trap Duty on Coronation Day

On Wednesday, I cancelled my morning Zoom session - too much chat in case Col needed to sleep.  He ate some of the bowl of porridge I made, plus he also ate the apples and custard he had left the other day.  I heated it up and it all went down. We actually got a date both for the day surgery and the pre-assessment, which if all goes to plan will be well within the eight weeks they warned us about. Thank God.

I am now on Moth Trap duty, which is to say I am in charge of turning its violet light on in the evening, and turning the balcony light on to attract them.  And then turning them all off again in the morning. It seems to function as a comfy hotel, more than a trap, thank Goodness, as they bed down happily in their little egg cup nests and sometimes take several hours to get themselves up and leave.  So I think I need to find a photo of a colourful moth to head this blog, unless something even more exciting checks into Hotel de Nuit before I post this.

A bunch of splendid roses arrived on Thursday - along with a bottle of red wine, and another bunch of tulips, one of my favourite Spring flowers!  Maybe we will have a balcony celebration - red wine on the balcony while we watch the moon on the water - when all seems well again.  

Usually, given we have flowers, I would ask Captain B to photograph both bunches and they could head the blog.  But, given his frail state, I will stick to an existing moth pic.  He has so many lovely ones to choose from.

And yes, I do have a Smartphone, and could, in theory, take the pics myself, and, had I mastered the technology, I could transfer them to my blog.  But, not only have I not mastered the technology,  I already have more photos than I could possibly need of me looking especially gormless saying: "Have I taken this?"  "What is it you have to press?" and similar.

I attended the Thursday night meeting in pixel form - listening out for the Captain behind me in the living room.  He has a large brass bell along with a loud voice if he does need help.  I am so glad I went, it was an immensely comforting evening.

If you want to know more, please go to this link: https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/202023163#h=1:0-21:0

It is so consoling to know how tenderly our Creator feels for us and cares for all who love and serve him, despite our many many faults and failings.

Roger sent us a voicemail from the USA, and Julia from the Northlands rang us in the evening and we had a long chat.  It was great to hear from both of those good friends from Planet Expat.

Today we watched the Coronation off and on.  And rested.  It was a grey and rainy, day but the crowds had turned out in vast numbers. It all went like regal clockwork - so credit to all concerned.

And we had a special meeting at the Hall just after lunch which I attended by pixel.  The talk was: Listen, Obey and be Blessed. And the Speaker started by pointing out the difference between listening and hearing.  If we listen to our Creator and pay attention and act on what we are being taught we will be blessed right now, and immeasurably in the future.

In May's Gaud Gown

This is the Calendar photo for May - a local Cormorant, full of personality, taken by Captain B:

May and September are my favourite months. I had my first intimation that the whole earth was meant to be a paradise in a soot blackened Sheffield garden - many many years ago - in her early 1950s. I was playing with a little friend and watching the white May blossom sparkle on the black stones in her paved garden.

It gave me a sudden feeling of joy I have never forgotten. However, in this Spring, the poet Karen Volkman seems to speak for me in her poem May, which begins:
In May’s gaud gown and ruby reckoning
the old saw wind repeats a colder thing.

The Spring is fresh and new and full of life. The Captain and I are not.

We sat out on the balcony on Sunday afternoon - it was a grey Bank Holiday, but a lot of people were out on beach and Green.  I felt very sad, an Autumnal sadness, not a Springlike feeling at all.  But it is sadness with hope, hope for that time on the earth when "No resident will say "I am sick"".  The time when there will be no nasty surprises, only wonderful ones.  

Monday morning we zoomed with the family, which included two of the littlest great grandchildren and their parents, so that was really nice and cheered us up.  They are such fun.  

It has been hard to get Col to eat anything. The only thing that has been a success are the grapes we ordered from Abel & Cole, his eyes lit up at the sight of them, and he has been slowly eating them.  However, Tuesday morning, he asked me to make him porridge for breakfast. And ate it all!  Has a corner been turned?  

I hope so, but the Sword of Damocles hangs over us until the day surgery procedure has been done. Within eight weeks they say - and he is on the emergency cancellation list, so it is possible to be called in sooner.