One Art

By Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident

the art of losing’s not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47536/one-art

How brilliant is this? I can't believe I have only just found it. I don't know what inspired the poet to write it. But what I recognised in it is the way that growing old is to lose people and things, one by one. So many old friends have gone, and I am a bit worried about Elizabeth who I have known since we were both four years old. No card this year - most unusual.

 
And a few years ago I realised that I would not be paddling in the sea again, or even walking on the beach along the seashore, which I loved to do. There will be no more days out in London, a city I have always loved and that I lived and commuted in when we were young marrieds. We had many dive trips in my expat years, but I did not realise that my last trip to the beautiful Maldives islands was indeed my last trip - nor that the flight back home to our retirement would be my last flight.

Of course I am also keeping my hope that I will "inherit the earth", and live forever on this splendid planet. But that is up to my Creator, not to me. And how we will travel then I don't know - or what the earth will look like after Armageddon. Jesus compared the days we are living in now to the times of Noah. And when Noah and his family came out of the Ark, the earth would have been so changed.

I don't think we will even want to look back to the tragedy we are presently living in then anyway.

We had have had some beautiful sunrises over the English Channel - see a couple of Captain B's photos above. The other day we had a stunning sunrise - lots of broken cloud and the colours were orange and yellow. I did try to capture it on my Smartphone camera but not only did I not even begin to capture the glory of it, but my horizon was tilted at a strange angle. At least my thumb did not make an appearance, so I am improving.

 
Our Grand Creator, Jehovah, made such a wonderful world for and has set in a universe whose size and magnificence is beyond our comprehension.

Tuesday was one of those mornings when the Channel had stayed out late and not got back in time as it was so grey and rainy it was impossible to tell if there was a sea there. It sneaked back home at some stage though. Col had a visit to the FLO, the Finds Liaison Officer, who is visiting our local museum on Tuesday. He had a find that needed to be reported - not a hoard, alas. And I have had Zoom sessions on most days this week. I have one this morning.

And it continues grey and rainy - no snow down here so far.

Quartet in Autumn

I have been re-reading Barbara Pym's Quartet in Autumn.  I noticed that I reviewed this book in a blogpost in 2012.  So I guess it has even more power and melancholy than the last time I read it.  And it is still funny - this is Barbara Pym after all.  It is another page turner.  And what really is the point of a book that isn't?

But for me this is her masterpiece, well along with Some Tame Gazelle and Excellent Women of course.

Back then, when I first wrote about it, I was at the same stage as Letty and Marcia - at the beginning of retirement.  Now I am way beyond that, and both amazed and grateful that not only are we still here, but are continuing to find life so interesting. 

I was just reading some reviews of Quartet online, and it seems that most people found Marcia the character that most affected them. And her decline into dottiness and then dementia is wonderfully depicted.  But I find that Letty and her courage in coping with what life has dealt her, which is very very little, is the one who touches me most.

The quartet of characters are all wonderfully drawn though.  

I am now re-reading - and enjoying - the last Pym A Few Green Leaves.  Critics are mixed about that. And it ought not to be the first Pym that you read.  But I am enjoying it, and noting what a valiant book it is. She was dying when she wrote it, and death is a recurring theme in various ways, none of them at all self-pitying.  But although it contains all the cosy day to day themes of the ordinary lives that Pym does so well, it is also surely about the futility of our lives as they are now - born dying.

Talking of old age and - gulp - the rest of it, the medical merry-go-round is still underway. So though I ought to be - and am - very very grateful for the medical care, I can't claim to be as self-pity free as Barbara Pym was.

And it seems sadly appropriate that on Friday morning we visited Jacks in her Care Home.  It is a great place, like a good hotel.  In fact, the first thing I noticed was how beautifully the grass in the large gardens is kept. And the inside was in harmony with that. We took Jacks the 2026 orchid calendar, and plan to go back next week with some chocolates, which she said she would like.  But it occurs to me that I will probably have to have them vetted by Staff before offering them to Jacks...

We do miss her so much. We would spend every Saturday night together, and have lots of days out, usually in London. We could both travel in those days. Col of course still can, thank God.  But we were able to talk over old times, which was quite consoling. And even laugh about quite a lot of things, as we always used to.

And when our visit ended and we couldn't find the way out, the staff opened the doors for us and let us go.  How much longer before they decide we are escapees and try to escort us back to our rooms?

I attended Dawn's Memorial on Saturday - via Zoom, as Col was away a'detectoring.  The talk was both comforting and sad, of course.  She and her husband had such a long and happy marriage, they even worked together for many years.  In a world where marriages are collapsing everywhere and the relationship between men and women seems worse than ever, it must have made Jehovah very happy to see how Dawn and her husband honoured and valued the marriage arrangement.

Storm Goretti (and My First Part in the Ministry School in 2026)

This is a photo of one of my parents' grandsons when he was an enchanting little toddler.  His own children are now long past the toddler stage, but they do still enjoy their seaside visits to their great aunt and uncle.  Not sure for how much longer, because of how time hurtles us along.

I still haven't phoned my own hearing aids  It seems a bridge too far somehow.  Nor have they phoned me come to think of it.

Storm Goretti roared over us last night, bringing rain and high winds, but it has apparently covered much of the country in snow. 

This was a bit of a Zoom week - double session on Tuesday morning  - and another session in the afternoon practising with my partner for Thursday.  And another double Zoom on Wednesday.

Anyway, here is the brief for my first part in the School, followed by the script I wrote. As neither me nor my householder is young, I thought I would write about the grandparent aspect of marriage. It went OK, in that my HH was very good and came in right on time, important as we did it in Zoom.  However, I feel I missed the brief. I am somewhat stressed out by all the medical stuff AND my new hearing aids. And then in the middle of the meeting my device - my IPad, or whatever its called - started to talk!  I did not even know it could do that.  Very embarrassing. I was struggling to turn the thing off, wondering if my new hearing aids were somehow to blame, when one of the young brothers came over and rescued me by turning it off in some mysterious way known only to the young.

So, to The Brief, which I feel I failed to meet:

4. Starting a Conversation

(3 min.) HOUSE TO HOUSE. Share a truth from appendix A of the Love People brochure with a person who is married. (lmd lesson 2 point 3)

3. Be observant. A person’s facial expressions and body language can reveal a lot. Does the person seem willing to speak with you? You might introduce a Bible truth by simply asking, “Did you know that . . . ?” Avoid forcing a conversation with someone who does not want to talk.

FAMILY

• 6. A husband should “love his wife as he does himself.”​—Eph. 5:33; Col. 3:19.

• 7. A wife should deeply respect her husband.​—Eph. 5:33; Col. 3:18.

• 8. A husband and a wife should be loyal to each other.​—Mal. 2:16; Matt. 19:4-6, 9; Heb. 13:4.

• 9. Children who respect and obey their parents will succeed.​—Prov. 1:8, 9; Eph. 6:1-3.

• And this was the Script:

HH: Oh hello. I thought you were my son with the children.

Sue: Ah, clearly you are expecting him any minute - and it sounds like you will be on grandma duty. So I won’t keep you. May I just leave you with this little leaflet for when you have a moment to sit down with a cup of tea?

HH: Oh, you’re a Jehovah’s Witness. No, I won’t really have any time for any reading. I am more in need of some practical advice at the moment. How to keep the grandchildren entertained while their parents are having a much needed weekend off. I can’t take them to the park in this weather.

Sue: No, Sadly. It’s going to rain all weekend apparently. But maybe I can help. There are some great videos - both fun and helpful for children - on our website JW.org. The Caleb and Sophia series. Do have a look and see if you find some that will appeal. The idea is that they teach in an entertaining way, as they are all based on Bible principles. All of us in the congregations enjoy them no matter what our age.

HH: Well, thanks. I hadn’t really thought of the Bible as something for children these days. It is such an old-fashioned book.

Sue: Many people do feel like that now. But did you know that the Bible gives us some really practical advice about how to succeed in marriage, how to achieve a happy family? Here for example is some very simple and clear advice for children. It’s at Ephesians 6:1-3, and it says: “Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous.  “Honor your father and your mother” is the first command with a promise:  “That it may go well with you and you may remain a long time on the earth.” “ Now that sounds like quite old-fashioned advice doesn’t it?

HH: Yes, it does, these days, the idea of children obeying their parents. Yet, it’s right isn’t it? When we tell our children to look before they cross the road, not to play on the railway lines, not to go with strangers, it is for their own protection.

Sue: Exactly. Obedience to parents protects children, as it did then, as it does now. Look if you like, if you can find some time next week, I would like to call round and show you some more of the advice the Bible gives to families, to husbands, mothers, parents and children. I think you will be surprised at just how timely and practical it is. And I will just leave you with this card which directs you to the website where you can find the Caleb and Sophia videos. Have a look through and see if you can find some that will occupy the grandchildren. I am Sue by the way - and you are?

HH: HH Thanks. I will try them. And yes, do call round. The same time next week if you like. I should be at home then.

The Medical Merry-Go Round

 

We had a Wolf moon on Friday.  It was prominent in the sky during the afternoon as we drove back from Chichester on our quest to find Jackie. We didn't find her, but we now know where her care home is and we plan to visit next week - weather permitting.

The moon was wonderful. It seemed so close - a bit of the awe-inspiring universe that you could reach up and touch.  It's a good thing we can't of course, as if so we would probably have ruined it.  Haven't we already begun to junk it up with our space clutter?

The weather is certainly much colder, and I think there is snow in the North, but the sun is still shining here. I just hope it is cold enough to warn birds and bulbs not to think we are in Spring just yet.  Col left very early on Saturday for the metal detecting field, and I worry more than usual when the roads will likely be icy, especially so early in the morning.  Same same for Sunday.

I Zoomed to the meeting at the Kingdom Hall.

The medical merry-go-round started again on Monday, with Diabetes check No.1 at the surgery in the morning, and a fitting for my new ears in the afternoon.We had to go to Bognor for that, which is so stressful re parking.   I did actually pray and ask Jehovah about a parking space, and we found one about 5 minutes walk away from the Audiologists.  That is just on my walking limit these days, so I was very grateful.

After quite a long process I now have new hearing aids, frighteningly technological. Col can even speak to me from his phone directly into my hearing aids!  "Home-in-15-put-supper-on".  Amazing.  I said to the young audiologist, who I am getting to know quite well now, that this should make us aware of the brilliant engineering that went into the creation of the human ear.

Not only don't you need a manual to use the original ears, but they don't keep falling off either.   The more we learn about the creation, the more confidence we should have in our Grand Creator, Jehovah.

I am now test driving the fearsome and amazing hearing aids and am waiting for the moulds to be made so that they will fit more safely and comfortably into my ear.  But am I up to them?  

I am also waiting for the second part of my diabetes appointment, to come when they have the results of the tests they did.  I am quite worried about it, as I have had some lapses in diet, especially over the holidays.

So though I ought to be - and am - very grateful for the medical care, I am feeling a bit stressed out.

I put "ear" into the Search engine in Col's photo gallery and came up with lots of shots of Jelly-ear fungus (fungi?).  So I chose one for this blog.

Orchids

We decided on orchids for our 2026 calendar - made up of photos Col has taken down the years.  The are all wild orchids, not the orchids from our orchid table.

We are now getting back to our routine.  Two loads of washing are done - shopping done - I have collected my new glasses - but a load of other medical appointments (mine) are coming up - and Col is back on the metal detecting merry go round - he was off very early Thursday morning.  And he chauffered me to the Kingdom Hall on Thursday night.

We slept through the New Year, not even being woken by the fireworks - assuming there were some.  Correction: apparently there were fireworks and they did wake Col.  I slept through it all. 

We are now another year nearer the end of the current wicked system of things on the earth and the beginning of the restoration of paradise.  Hurray!

We came back to more cards and letters from old friends, one of whom is just setting off on a holiday in the Antarctic with her husband. WOW!!!  The night skies alone... We are looking forward to hearing about it when they get back.  

Brigitte Bardot died during this holiday season.  So the orchid picture feels appropriate, because of how beautiful she was.  And how great it was that she dedicated so much of her money and time to helping the beleagured animal creation.  I hope that she is now held safe in "the everlasting arms", safe in God's memory, every hair of her head numbered, and that she has a wonderful awakening from the dreamless sleep of death when the time comes.

If so, when she next opens her eyes, it will be on the earth when we will be taking the loving, unselfish care of the animal creation that we were designed for, and an earth on which nature is no longer "red in tooth and claw with ravine".  All will be at peace, as it was in the beginning, in Eden.

The wolf will reside for a while with the lamb,

And with the young goat the leopard will lie down,

And the calf and the lion and the fattened animal will all be together;

And a little boy will lead them.

 The cow and the bear will feed together,

And their young will lie down together.

The lion will eat straw like the bull.

 The nursing child will play over the lair of a cobra,

And a weaned child will put his hand over the den of a poisonous snake.

 They will not cause any harm

Or any ruin in all my holy mountain,

Because the earth will certainly be filled with the knowledge of Jehovah

As the waters cover the sea.

- Isaiah 11:6-9