Friday, 25 July 2025

Antidepression

 





Another balcony shot - it is really flourishing this year. It has been a hot and humid summer, but we have had some much needed rain recently, and our sea breeze seems to have returned. Tuesday afternoon I did very little, tired I guess by a bad night and my root canal horror in the morning.

Hopefully my dentist did a good job, as despite nearly an hour of horrors in the chair, I have had no after pain... for which I am very grateful.  But that anti-depressant med I am taking - for reasons of physical health in that I am not clinically depressed - is affecting me very badly, even though it is low dosage.  And with no sign of it yet fixing the problem with my skin.

I guess I have to persevere.

But what would it be like to be on a high dosage? Zombification?

We heard that Keith and Co are coming over Sunday night to watch The Match - Footie, ladies, England v Italy (I think).  I shall do what I usually do these days when we entertain - i.e. a sandwich lunch, with cake and ice-cream for afters, but have it in the evening.

We used to entertain a lot when we were younger. But not now.  For one thing we no longer have a dining table - it is a computer work station these days. But we also no longer have the energy.

And writing this makes me realise that I need to go and make the Captain's sandwiches for tomorrow, as he will be leaving very early for The Field.

I will end with  Psalm 16:11, as the more I think about what it promises, the more it cheers me up: 
You make known to me the path of life.
In your presence is abundant joy;
There is happiness at your right hand forever.

What more could any of us want? And Jehovah is offering this abundant happiness to everyone.


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Tuesday, 22 July 2025

July Calendar



We chose two Emperor Moths mating for our July Calendar photo... not sure why... a private moment after all. But they are spectacular.  As Ecclesiastes says of our Grand Creator, Jehovah:  "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has even put eternity in their heart; yet mankind will never find out the work that the true God has made from start to finish." - Ecclesiastes 3:`11

The sea was so lovely Sunday morning. We had rain - much needed - overnight - and it was still overcast. The sea was a pale pearly turquoise with white waves bouncing across it at intervals.  After a painful night, it lifted my heart.

I had a problem with my computer during the Thursday meeting, as it seemed impossible to unmute me, so I couldn't comment. Hopefully Captain B will have solved it before my next Zoom session.

Or maybe he will prefer me in the muted version?

Well, whatever he might prefer, he did unmute me. Apparently I had turned my microphone off. Which is strange as if I needed to turn it off I would have had no idea how to do it.

Apparently Keith and Janet will be coming for lunch in a few days as they are on the travels in the South.  And I managed to write to Beryl.

I am hoping I will survive the dental torture this morning and be back to finish and post this blog...

...Root canal done, and I am still clinging on to life.  Hurray!  It was a horrid process, but I prayed to Jehovah to keep me calm, and very kindly he must have listened, as I did.  And I am not naturally a calm person - definitely not about dental and medical treatment.


Saturday, 19 July 2025

Drifting down the Stream





A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky
By Lewis Carroll

A boat beneath a sunny sky,
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July —

Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear —

Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream —
Lingering in the golden gleam —
Life, what is it but a dream?

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43907/a-boat-beneath-a-sunny-sky


I still love this poem. It has a summer sadness about it - and also it is right about how unreal our lives are now - they are gone so quickly - like a dream. And so often a nightmare at that - see any episode of the News.

And I remember Alice trying to get into the garden she could see through the keyhole - but she could not.  We long to get back to Eden, to the time when our first parents were perfect and living, not damaged and dying, and they lived in Paradise - a time when their lives were full of joy.

But we can't.  

Our Creator, Jehovah, can and will restore the Garden of Eden earthwide.  And then our real lives will begin.

The photo is of a "Woodland stream with Wren" I found it in Captain Butterfly's picture gallery.  I can't make out the wren, but maybe, after my cataract operations... who knows?  I just checked with Captain B, and he says the wren is not in this photo - he has a separate pic of it. So my eyes are not quite as bad as I thought. Hurray! At my age when anything is not as bad as I had thought it was is a reason for rejoicing.

The stream is in West Sussex by the way.

I seemed to get myself together a bit on Thursday - about time too - and re-stocked the freezer with cake for his Lordship's packed lunches - marmalade muffins this time - did a load of washing, scrubbed out the bathroom, and made a veggie and lentil stew for supper. I also continued my studies, but did not do any witnessing beyond a fb post.

I am trying to continue this burst of moderate energy and on Friday I got an apple crumble in the oven. I also worked on a comment on a powerful essay in Frontpage Magazine by Dr.Danusha Goska.  It sets out the blatant double standards in the way the world reacts to Hitler, Mao and Stalin, and their victims - given that they all killed millions in the service of their mad "isms".

George Orwell nailed it really.  To "the world" and its Movers and Shakers, all atrocities are equal, but some are more equal than others. So while I did manage to comment, and thank the writer for writing the article, and the magazine for publishing it, I could not do better than that,

Jehovah's loving impartiality stands in such a shining contrast to "the world", and I am so grateful for it.


Wednesday, 16 July 2025

Re-Wilding the Balcony

 



I don't know if you can see the Sow Thistle on the balcony.  It flew in from somewhere and is doing well among all the bought plants.  It has been very hot and humid, though Monday - my trip to the dentist - was cooled by a lovely sea breeze.

Result of trip to Dentist?  Over the next couple of months I now face one root canal, one crown, and then of course my first cataract operation.  I will be glad when summer is safely over, as I hope it will be.

I am not enjoying the hot and humid weather at all.  It may be what has caused all my arthritic joints - including my replacement ones!(?) - to hurt so much.  If so, I can hope it will ease off when things get cooler.  My back is so bad I can't even stand up straight.

Wimbledon has come and gone, with a Polish lady, Iga Swiatek winning the ladies crown, and a very young Italian guy, Jannik Sinner winning the men's.  Both played so well and were so thrilled to get the Championship.

Apart from that I didn't really watch it.  Used to love Wimbledon, but it no longer interests me much.  Not sure why.  Maybe it is because I am older, or maybe it's because tennis has changed so much. I can remember rushing back from school to find my mother watching it intently, and the strawberries and cream already set out for us, and we would all watch it with her.  Well, sometimes it was strawberries and milk. You need to cut the strawberries up in the milk and let them sit for a few hours. And its very good.

My favourite players back then were a couple of doubles players from Mexico called Osuna and Palafox.  I loved them and used to support them all the way through.  The teenage me could never decide which was the best looking - they were both so handsome.

Of course, Captain Butterfly wins the Handsome Contest hands down these days.

We - my sister and I - had a lovely morning with our Bible Student - the lady of the flowers.   She seemed very pleased to see us.


Sunday, 13 July 2025

GLEANINGS



This is a magnificent Early Thorn, one of the recent, and new, visitors to Hotel de Moth, en Balcony - or indeed On Sea.  And this morning we had a Jersey Tiger prowling about - one of the most lovely of moths, which is quite something given how lovely they all are.  The Captain is out there on a set of steps doing his photos now.  It has been another hot day.


And here is a Jersey Tiger he took earlier - well, some years ago, when he was more suited to going up stepladders. 


Here are some things I have gleaned from the Convention.  Friday's theme was "It is Jehovah your God you must Worship: - Matthew 4:10 - and included the Bible drama of the next episode in Jesus' life.  It covered John the Baptist baptising repentant Jews, Jesus coming to him for baptism, and becoming annointed with holy spirit - being born again, in fact. Which I had not thought about before.

Saturday's theme was: "The Zeal for your House will Consume me." - John 2:17

One of the things we are considering at this Convention is the prophetic pattern that Jesus fulfilled.  We also considered his first miracle, and what we can understand from that about the qualities of both Jehovah and Jesus, and how we can emulate them.

There were some wonderful experiences, and so much good advice, which I must make some real effort to take on board.  I feel as if I have been lapsing a lot, but old age and sickness are taking their toll. I have been in such pain over the weekend I have hardly been able to stand up straight. I am hoping it is due to the hot humid weather, rather than another permanent step down.

Anyway, it is so good to have been reminded about the healing and happiness that lies ahead for all who will exercise faith in the ransom sacrifice. That is just what I needed to hear.



Thursday, 10 July 2025

BRIGHTON CONVENTION



The Brighton Convention begins on Friday - at the Amex Centre.  The conventions are being held worldwide.  The theme this year is PURE WORSHIP.  You may have received your invitations. We have been trying to get them widely distributed.

A highlight is the Video Drama, about the life of Jesus.

Wednesday morning, very early - 5 o'clock alarm - we sent off for the Eye Clinic in Brighton, where, after many tests, and painful eye drops, and lovely helpful staff, they have approved me for my cataract surgery. It will happen after the family visits in the summer - first one eye then the other.  Then I managed to break a tooth in the afternoon and face a Monday morning, at least, at the dentists.   

The only bright spot on the horizon is that we have the Convention Friday, Saturday and Sunday, which will give me something positive to think about.

The moths continue to arrive, and leave.  The above are Dusky Thorns.  I know we have had Thorn Moths on our balcony this year, but I am not sure if we have had Duskies so far this year. I must check with the Captain who is in The Field as I type this. He has rung up to tell me that he has found a couple of coins, and also seen a Marbled White, and a Clouded Yellow. Oh and a terrifying moth-catching spider that he seemed to be getting on terms with. 

I have had a reasonably busy morning - changed the bed, done the washing, made the soup - hot and spicy (hopefully) - checked in the Abel & Cole delivery, and done my studying on the balcony while getting my morning dose of sunshine.

I now need to get all my paperwork into order - clear my desk for the Convention tomorrow - and I also have a Zoom session - a double Zoom - with a sister, which I am looking forward to.  

Monday, 7 July 2025

Willow Ermines





I don't know if you can see the little silvery creatures on the wall, but the close up is there to show you what they are.  These fragile moths have, I assume, made it across the Channel and are resting on our balcony this week.  They seem happy and content in their new home, moving about during the night, changing places, but I guess they will need to be off about their business in time.  Presumably, as they are Willow Ermine moths,  they need Willow trees for courtship, for egg-laying purposes. And we have no willows on our balcony.

We found more new moths on our balcony on Friday morning - new to our hotel and balcony I mean. If any of them turn out to be new to Science and need naming then I am happy to pull a name out of the ether at random - The Lovely Susan, let's say.  "How about The Lovely Rachel?" (That from the next computer, whose operator is rather fond of Countdown Rachel.)

I am standing firm on The Lovely Susan - though hopefully not literally!  You have to be careful where you step on our balcony these mothy days.

There is some horrifying flooding in Texas - flooding which tragically may have engulfed at least one Summer camp, full of children.

I hope so much that the families who have lost their children to this flood know what Jesus did when he met a widow who had lost her only son.  He resurrected the child and gave him back to his mother.

Isn't that what he will do for all bereaved parents - for all bereaved children - once the Kingdom of God is ruling over the earth?

It is hard to imagine how much joy there will be as parent and child are re-united.  But, as always, I hope we are there to find out.

The Captain is out on the balcony, sorting out our mothy visitors. It is overcast, but warm today.  We did have some rain a couple of days ago - much needed - and we heard a thunderstorm in the distance yesterday.

It is our wedding anniversary today  - which we may celebrate modestly with a glass of wine and some fish and chips if we don't both fall asleep in front of the telly before that can happen.

Thursday, 3 July 2025

The Waves







Here is the ending of "The Waves" by John Betjeman, which I have illustrated with two of Captain B's wave photos, one of waves on our pebbly beach, the other of a Riband Wave Moth:

And all the time the waves, the waves, the waves
Chase, intersect and flatten on the sand
As they have done for centuries, as they will
For centuries to come, when not a soul
Is left to picnic on the blazing rocks,
When England is not England, when mankind
Has blown himself to pieces. Still the sea,
Consolingly disastrous, will return
While the strange starfish, hugely magnified,
Waits in the jewelled basin of a pool.


https://laudatortemporisacti.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-waves.html

The "consolingly" is wonderful. What a writer he was!  And of course given the News, this seems more relevant than ever before.  Isn't it clear that, if left to ourselves and the destructive forces that control us, we will destroy the very planet we live on? 

But we are not left to ourselves. The rescue promised in Eden that has been progressing steadily from the moment it was promised is so close now.

Tuesday was another HOT day - and humid.

Wednesday was a day of moths - Willow Ermine moths in almost Biblical plague proportions all over balcony. and some more new moths - new to our balcony and hotel - in the trap.  The Willow Ermines are exquisite, tiny and clearly much tougher than they look, as they are migrants and having rowed their little boats (or whatever) across the Channel, they are now resting up with us for a day or two. 

I hope to feature a photo of them in my next blogpost.

My exciting plans for today are: to make the soup for tonight, to restock the freezer with some cakes (not too many as I only have 2 eggs in stock), get the washing done - its another hot day, so good for drying the clothes - finish my studying for the meeting tonight, and get to the meeting if my faithful chauffeur will do his stuff.  And, believe me, that will exhaust me...   

Old age.  Anyway, I am very grateful to still be here, and to have the hope of being here forever.  And we had such a help this week in one of our daily Scriptures:

O you who love Jehovah, hate what is bad. He is guarding the lives of his loyal ones; he rescues them from the hand of the wicked.​—Ps. 97:10.  

Each of us needs to pray more than ever to remain faithful to Jehovah during these difficult last days. Jehovah wants us to ‘pour out our hearts before him’ in prayer. (Ps. 62:8) Praise Jehovah and thank him for all that he does. Ask him to help you to be courageous in the ministry. Beg him for help to deal with any problems and to resist any temptation that you may be facing. Do not let anything or anyone stop you from regularly praying to Jehovah.

I did my praying on the balcony this morning - surrounded by flowers  - and moths! - and among other things prayed that one day both Col and I will be able to thank Jehovah for all this from perfect hearts.