A Problem with Cameras

A Thunderstorm
by Emily Dickinson

The Wind begun to rock the Grass
With threatening Tunes and low –
He threw a Menace at the Earth –
A Menace at the Sky.

The Leaves unhooked themselves from Trees –
And started all abroad
The Dust did scoop itself like Hands
And threw away the Road.

The Wagons quickened on the Streets
The Thunder hurried slow –
The Lightning showed a Yellow Beak
And then a livid Claw.

The Birds put up the Bars to Nests –
The Cattle fled to Barns –
There came one drop of Giant Rain
And then as if the Hands

That held the Dams had parted hold
The Waters Wrecked the Sky,
But overlooked my Father’s House –
Just quartering a Tree –

https://interestingliterature.com/2019/10/a-short-analysis-of-emily-dickinsons-a-thunderstorm/

More Emily.  We have had storms recently, but not thunderstorms, which is likely a good thing as our block has been hit by lightning twice.  One of those strikes put our lift out for months.

My "good" shoulder is now so painful that I have to lift a coffee cup with both hands to be able to drink out of it. And I am worried as I have 3 appointments this week - Wednesday to the Flower Lady for the study, I have a part at the Hall on Thursday night, and my diabetes eye check in the morning.  I don't want to cancel any of it - nor do I want to appear via Zoom to do my part.

There is something tragically wrong with these Zoom cameras.  They make me look nothing at all like Kate Moss.  Isn't it time the manufacturers did something about this?

I did want to cancel and re-arrange my eye appointment but Captain B is being stern about my getting there, by taxi if necessary.  I am wondering if I could possibly manage to walk back... some years ago I would not even have thought about walking there and back.  It is how I would have got there.

Well, it is now very early Thursday morning - still dark. Captain B and Jim are about to set off for The Field, and the Captain has helped me into my socks before he goes, so I am hoping that the anti-inflammatories and painkillers will kick in over the next couple of hours and enable me to get to my Eye Test - it will have to be by Taxi though.

And therefore I think I will have to be at the Hall tonight in Pixel form. This is going to make everything hurt even more, especially if I am not able to get a taxi back and have to walk. That will knock me out for the rest of the day.

Anyway, our Bible Study went well, which was very encouraging and we are booked for next week.  And my partner and I zoom practised our part yesterday. It is about 10 seconds over time, but I think I can trim it a bit.

The Assembly and the Shoulder - or maybe Storm Colin

Or I could have called this blog Cities and Thrones and Powers or Ozymandias. 

Cities and Thrones and Powers
by Rudyard Kipling

Cities and Thrones and Powers

Stand in Time's eye, 

Almost as long as flowers,

Which daily die:

But, as new buds put forth

To glad new men,

Out of the spent and unconsidered Earth,

The Cities rise again.

This season's Daffodil,

She never hears

What change, what chance, what chill,

Cut down last year's;

But with bold countenance,

And knowledge small,

Esteems her seven days' continuance

To be perpetual. 

So Time that is o'er-kind

To all that be,

Ordains us e'en as blind,

As bold as she:

That in our very death, 

And burial sure,

Shadow to shadow, well persuaded, saith

 "See how our works endure!"

https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poem/poems_cities.htm

Ozymandias

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46565/ozymandias

The poems are because I attended the Circuit Assembly (virtually) on Saturday, and it concluded with a very interesting and inspiring talk: "Boast in Jehovah".  We can speak about how he supports us and guides us, and tell others about him and all his wonderful works.

In contrast, boasting about ourselves and our own accomplishments is pretty foolish. And I think both the poems above make that point well.  After all whatever good qualities and skills we have - and we all have some - are from Jehovah in the first place - sort of remnants of the perfection he gave our first parents, the perfection we all should have been born with, the gift of our Creator.

I also wanted the word "Shoulder" in the blog as I need to record that my "good" shoulder is worse than ever. I should have been at the SOS Conference on Saturday with Captain B. But there was no way I could even get dressed.  Sadly, he came back early after lunch. He is not doing too well either.

And I have added Storm Colin to the blog title as it was stormy outside on Sunday morning as I began this blog - and he will be doing our on-line tax returns all day, and they usually put him in a stormy mood.  Though I have just found out that the current storm is actually called Herminia.  Will it be as fearsome as Storm Col doing our taxes online? Time will tell.

THINGS! (And goodbye to our fir tree)

Things! Things! Things!
by Amos Russel Well

Things! Things! Things!
On the tables, on the floor,
Tucked away behind the door,
On the shelves and on the chairs,
Dangerously on the stairs,
Bureaus crammed and closets filled,
Boxes packed and boxes spilled,
Bundles everywhere you go,
Heaps and piles and overflow
Of things, things, things.

https://discoverpoetry.com/poems/poems-about-money/

How this poem resonates - alas!  Why did we collect all these things?  If you are young and just starting out, please keep it minimal. You will be so glad that you did.

We conducted our Bible study with the Flower Lady on Wednesday afternoon and had just finished when we got some frantic calls from Captain B.  The hospital had phoned...  I had left a call for help on Rheumatology phone on Friday, and I knew it would take some days for them to respond.  So, with a certain inevitability, they finally phoned the one time I was out.

Anyway, they did ring back later and I spoke to a nice young doctor who is going to schedule me for a scan so they can see what is going on.  This should happen within the next two weeks.  I am grateful for that. I know how busy they are.

We lost our lovely pine tree on Wednesday.  Our flat was suddenly filled with roaring and whirring and we found the tree fellers were outside taking it down.  I used to like the way it framed the sea. Sometimes in the summer when the sea is turquoise it made me think of our visits to John in Sydney, seeing all the Norfolk pines fronting that amazing ocean, with its monster waves.  

O Conifer/for you I'll pine/when summer comes/and the waters shine/as green as green as sea can be/but uninterrupted by our tree.

Storm Eowyn struck during Thursday night. I was up in the early hours of Friday morning, pain, painkillers, and the kitchen was full of noise - the wind and waves were crashing. So maybe the poor old pine would not have survived, who knows? 

We had to pay yet another visit to the bank early Friday morning, and were grateful that the storm had eased off by then.  We saw the same kind and pretty young lady we saw before - and she was very helpful. We have to do something mysterious computer-wise in 5 days time, and then, hopefully, all is sorted.  And maybe our lives will become a bit simpler.

I fear we are in for very hard economic times though.  But if you will only do accept the free Bible Course offered by your local Jehovah's Witness congregation, or you can do one on line, at JW.org, then you will know that we are living the darkest hour before the dawn.

And it will be such a wonderful dawn when it comes.

In the meantime, it was not such a wonderful dawn for me this morning.  My "good" shoulder is now so painful and stiff I could not even put my hearing aid in...  and I will have to miss my day out at Sussex Ornithologists with Captain B. There is no way I can get dressed, even with his help.  It is another step down the dismal ladder of old age.

However I have to remember that wonderful dawn that is coming, and that one day I may be able to thank Jehovah for it all from a perfect heart.  Oh - and hear the dawn chorus from perfect ears!

 

Anxiety Dreams

 

Here is a sunrise over the English Channel, taken by Captain B this month. It is to remind us of our loving Creator in these "difficult times hard to deal with". He made this planet so lovely for us.

I had a night of anxiety dreams before the Bible study last Wednesday.  I spent such of the night as I did sleep - arthritis pain permitting - hunting through vast wardrobes trying to find something to wear, and finding nothing.  And then I got worried that the time I had told my sister to pick me up was wrong...

Why do I do this to myself?  Aren't there enough things to worry about.   However, we have another study this afternoon, and I did not spend last night dreaming anxiously, but the pain woke me very early.  I had to get up and take painkillers.  I hope and pray our study will go as well - or even better! - than it did last week.

We moved our sibling Zoom session to Tuesday as I thought we might not get back from the bank in time on Monday, although in fact we did.  And I finally finished the script for my part in the School next week - such a relief.  And I got the paperwork beside my computer tidied and sorted.  Oh, and made the regular lentil and veggie soup.

My shoulders and arms continue to be so painful. If the loss of function in the "good" arm is a permanency then I am now in a different and much more difficult world. As is poor Captain Butterfly.

This happened to my mother when she was younger than I was. Both her shoulders were lost to arthritis.  That is when she moved out of the bungalow and into Lilac Tree Farm, to live with Penny and George.

So she ended her life as she began it, in a small village - first in Lancashire, then in Yorkshire.

I hope though that her real life here on the earth has not really started yet, that it is all to begin again for her during the Thousand Years during which all those safe in "the everlasting arms" will be woken from the dreamless sleep and of death, and open their eyes in the restored earthly paradise.

The Narrow Fellow (and the Flare up continues)

A Narrow Fellow in the Grass
by
Emily Dickinson

A narrow Fellow in the Grass
Occasionally rides –
You may have met Him – did you not
His notice sudden is –

The Grass divides as with a Comb –
A spotted shaft is seen –
And then it closes at your feet
And opens further on -

He likes a Boggy Acre
A Floor too cool for Corn
Yet when a Boy, and Barefoot –
I more than once at Noon

Have passed, I thought, a Whip lash
Unbraiding in the Sun
When stooping to secure it
It wrinkled, and was gone –

Several of Nature's People
I know, and they know me –
I feel for them a transport
Of cordiality –

But never met this Fellow
Attended, or alone
Without a tighter breathing
And Zero at the Bone –

https://www.themorgan.org/exhibitions/online/emily-dickinson/19

One of the things that Uni gave me - apart from my beloved Captain B of course - was Emily Dickinson.  I had never even heard of her until my first year at Newcastle.   I have been a fan ever since.

I am very housebound today - both shoulders pretty much frozen and a painful leg.  Captain B left early for The Field, and while I have not been able to get myself dressed, he made us breakfast, as always, and left out some dishes for me as I can't reach much at the moment.

I did manage to get a load of washing done - and the lentil and veggie soup for supper is whirring away in the Soup Machine as I type this.

Col is coming back early, which is lovely - and means I will be able  to get dressed - probably.  And I need to finish my Watchtower study, get my two new medical apppointments into my diary, and tidy up the jumble of paperwork beside my computer. Oh, and finally finish the script for my part in the Ministry School which will be for the week after next. I have to explain why we do not take blood transfusions - in five minutes.

Its not for medical reasons by the way - we are happy to be transfused, as long as it's not with blood.  Anyway, I hope to be blogging my script in time so that will explain it satisfactorily, I hope.

Oh and the reason Captain B left The Field early is  that he is not well either.  We are in the rapids of old age now, and getting battered and bruised.

Re the photo above of Captain Butterfly and the Narrow Fellow - what lovely innocent faces snakes have.  But of course, they are innocent in all this.  None of the tragedy we are living in is the fault of the animal creation.

Winter Icing

WINTER ICING   by  me

Winter has iced the cars,

it's frosted The Green,

it's steeled sky and sea,

and it's frosted me.

In my personal midwinter

my car Badge is Blue.

And that, poem-wise,

is the best I can do.

Its not really a poem, I think, more of a verse.  But it does have its metaphor, in that I can no longer tell myself I am in the Autumn of my life. It is definitely Winter for me now.  And in acknowledgment of that, I have a Blue Badge for my car, which allows me to park in disabled parking spaces. And, as noted in a previous blog, it has already come in handy.

While I hope to "inherit the earth" and live forever on this lovely planet, as the Bible promises, I do not know whether, IF I do, I might live to see  - and be protected through! - Armageddon, or whether I will have to come the long way round, via the resurrection.

Either way it will be so wonderful to be there.  No more health concerns...  that alone will be miraculous.  And as it as "undeserved kindness" we all have grounds for hope that we will be there.  It is a real hope.

The poor Captain had yet another trip to the Clinic. We were looking over our medical appointments...  there are a lot of them.  It is Winter, Winter, Winter.

The Zoom Session with my siblings was transferred to Tuesday, as Nute was working.  All seems well.  I was talking about how much I enjoyed the book Nute gave me, "The Salt Path", by Raynor Winn.  It is such a page-turner.  It begins with the author and her husband hiding under the stairs of their farmhouse as the bailiffs, who have come to evict them, are knocking at the door.

They are 50 years old, and are about to lose their home, and their only means of livelihood. Their savings have gone, trying to fight what does sound like a very unjust court case.  And then...  anyway, all I can say is read the book.

This morning I have to conduct a Bible study with the lady of the flowers.  Jean and I called on her and her husband for many years.  And suddenly she has decided she would like to look into the Bible.  Another sister is kindly chauffering me.  I feel so inadequate to do this, even though I have been having the best teaching and training in the world for the last 30 years - well more like 35 years now!  How did that extra 5 years suddenly hurtle past?

But I am so much not a people person.  Lockdown was wonderful for me, I have to admit.  So I have been having anxiety dreams all night - and feel even more tired than usual.

All I have to do though is my best, however pathetic that is, and leave the rest to Jehovah.  He does all the really hard work. And the sister I am with is very competent and it will be so reassuring to have her with me.  I am very grateful for that.

The Clever Children?

The Clever Children

by Philip Gross

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

                                               Their father

teased them on their way to bed.

They lay awake for hours, those clever 

children.  Then one little egghead said,

"Inside the shell the embryonic hen

has got all her cells in her, even the cell

of her egg, within which... So on, in, on

in time to the smallest conceivable."  Well,

now they couldn't sleep.  They had to see

the ultimate egg, the egg of the future. On the way

how many breakages, unwanted omelettes, casually

discarded chickens?  At last, there it lay.

so tiny, so precious, so shimmeringly slight

it made them feel tremendous, like a pride

of giants.  Now to sleep, but... "Wait!"

said one (yes), ""What's inside?"

So they split it.  What hatched out?

"Quick," they hollered, "put it back again."

But those clever children couldn't, not

with all the king's horses, all the king's men.

This poem, by Philip Gross, is one I have loved for many years, but it does not seem to be anywhere in cyberspace.  Maybe it's just that I can't find it - but I felt it ought to be out there and so have decided to blog it.  I hope I have transcribed it accurately. It only exists for me in a faded clipping from an old magazine that probably went out of print years ago.

The poet says so much, succinctly and, wonderfully, in Humpty Dumpty language, about cleverness unguided by wisdom and love.  And typing it up reminded me of a talk I heard at a Kingdom Hall some years ago in which the Speaker pointed out that if Jehovah had not confused the languages at Babel we, the human family, would have reached the madness of weapons of mass destruction before the Messiah had even come to the earth and paid the ransom.

Jehovah had to patiently select and train a people, and choose from them a faithful family, before he could entrust his only-begotten Son to their care.

And the Speaker then asked us to think about how, ever since 1914, scientists the world over have increasingly been able to communicate with one another.  The results?  Some wonderful advances for which we are all grateful, but haven't we also bought the earth to the verge of ruin - see the poem above?

What we have to hang on to now is Jehovah's promise the he will "bring to ruin those ruining the earth".  He is the very Source of wisdom, and of power.  And he is the fulfiller of all his promises, as we can demonstrate to you if you will accept a free home Bible study from us.

I put "egg" into the search engine of Col's Photo gallery, and selected this rather lovely Song Thrush egg to head the blog.

The cars and the Green were frosted over on Friday morning, and it has inspired a small poem - maybe a verse - that I plan to put in my next blogpost. And my "good" shoulder has now completely seized up. I can barely type and will probably have to appear at the mornings meeting as a blank square with my name on it in Zoom if I can't get myself dressed in time.

.

Shepherd's Warning

On the first Saturday of the year the sun rose in a deep rose pink band above the Channel - you could see where it was going to make its appearance.  And, as the rhyme says:  Red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning,  but I forgot to note if the price of wool dropped steeply that day.

I thought I would look for a sheep photo from the Captain's Gallery to head this blog and you will now be able to see if I found one.

My "good" shoulder is still painful and I am having to hit the paracetamol.  Monday was the Zoom session with the siblings, all seems well - we have all made it into 2025!  Thank God.  And we even saw Darren briefly, as he is staying at Lilac Tree for a few days.  We haven't seen him since his brother Shaun's funeral. A very very sad occasion.

And thinking of Shaun has, of course, made me think of Jehovah's repeated promise of the resurrection.  He assures us, in the Book of Daniel, that "many of those asleep in the dust of the ground will wake up".

I hope so much Shaun will be among them.  But God will not wake the dead until the whole earth is at peace under the loving rule of the Kingdom of God.

I spent part of Tuesday morning in a Zoom session with two of my sisters - which was very encouraging. No snow down here as yet, but it is definitely cold, though not as cold as it should be in midWinter.  The Captain left very early on Tuesday for his stint as a detectorist on a local archeological site.  He had some good finds too.  Though he could only bring them home in photo form of course.  And in the evening I had a video conference with some of my fellow Fantastic Book Authors. We hope to start meeting regularly to encourage each other and to (hopefully) help us to sell some books.

Apparently it is better for us, and the publisher, if people buy our books in Kindle form. Which makes me wonder if I too ought to have a Kindle.  It would have been great in our travelling days, for sure.

It was my Annual Health Review on Wednesday. Oh dear. The poor nurse had terrible problems getting the two vials of blood they apparently needed out of my wrist and hand - my arms can no longer cope with blood tests.  But, on the doubleplusgood side, my foot test was fine.  My feet have not yet fallen off, and they still work (after a fashion). And I am grateful for that.  But also look forward to the moment when no resident of the earth will say "I am sick".

The rain that was falling when we set off to the bank on Wednesday afternoon had turned to snow by the time we set off back for home.

No snow this morning however, and hopefully no icy roads, as Col and Jim left in the darkness for The Current Field.  In fact, now, at 9:30, the sun is shining in, warming up our living rooms.

Blue Badge

On the Monday before the holiday, we headed off up North via a trip to Jackie's to drop off her calendar.  She asked us in and clearly will now welcome visits, even though she is so frail. All being well, we hope to call in and see her often.  To Tesco for petrol, then we faced the Xmas traffic. We made it to the bungalow by 4 p.m. to find Alex there. He too had come through some dreadful traffic and was exhausted. We woke up that next morning to find: no heat, no hot water. The system seemed to have collapsed on Christmas Eve!!

Captain B worked out that one little widget needed new batteries, and even had the right batteries with him... brilliant. We then went to Broomhill to do some last minute shopping - and my blue badge, which only arrived the day before we travelled, came into its own again.

I got it with almost worrying ease this time.  The first time I applied, during my knee operations, I was turned down, had to appeal and have a personal interview with a Physio/Doctor (who said that as soon as he saw me creaking out of the car at the hospital carpark he knew he would give me a badge). But I did not apply to renew it as by then I could walk more than the limit required. Now, however... and alas.

Anyway, not only have I now got it, but we have used it. It arrived on Saturday morning. We travelled up North on the Monday and it allowed us to park right by the entrance to the Motorway Service station. And then it allowed us to park outside the supermarket in Broomhill.

Wanting a photo for this blog, I put the word "blue" into Col's photo gallery, and decided on this Mazarine Blue. taken on one of his Corfu trips.

While we were up North we were visited by: the Derby family, the Lilac Tree Farmers, and the Dronfield Rellies.  And Julia, a friend from Planet Expat came over for lunch and a catch-up on Monday.  And we had our now traditional veggie feast at Jen's, where Kathryn joined us.  It's always good, but Jen excelled herself this year.

We also visited Crookes Cemetery on a blustering, wuthering day, to leave some flowers at daddy and Jo's graves.  It is high up there, with an amazing view - and on the day we visited, with an icy wind blowing.

The blue badge came into its own again, as we stopped off at the small Tesco to get some flowers and the Disabled spot was vacant.  So I only had a few steps to totter. They also had some tulips that were lovely, just what we wanted.

We did not manage to see Bea and Co, which is a first - but hopefully next time.  Nor did we manage to get over to York.  We had invited them to come to us this year, but Janet's fall and broken arm put paid to any travelling.  Surely next time.  

Talking of such things, my "good" shoulder has been painful enough to keep me awake for a couple of weeks now, which is worrying.  I already have very limited movement in my replacement shoulder...

And now 2025 begins...  what will it bring?  The most hopeful way to look at it is that every day that passes brings us closer to the moment when Jehovah intervenes  to remove every vestige of the current wicked system of things from the earth.

So let me leave you with this promise:

“In the days of those kings the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed. And this kingdom will not be passed on to any other people. It will crush and put an end to all these kingdoms, and it alone will stand forever. - Daniel 2:44

Earth's Immeasureable Surprise

First Sight, by Philip Larkin

Lambs that learn to walk in snow
When their bleating clouds into the air
Meet a vast unwelcome, know
Nothing but a sunless glare.
Newly stumbling to and fro
All they find, outside the fold,
Is a wretched width of cold.

As they wait beside the ewe,
Her fleeces wetly caked, there lies
Hidden around them, waiting too,
Earth's immeasurable surprise.
They could not grasp it if they knew
What will soon wake and grow
Utterly unlike the snow.

We got back from our trip up North on the 2nd, after a good drive on a sunny, but very cold day.  We saw lots of family and friends.  And we have all made it to 2025, thank God!

I thought this might be a great way to start the New Year, a photograph of the winter sunset in Sheffield - the sunset of the 30th - and this Philip Larkin poem about new life and the surprise of Spring being on the way.

Sheffield is a city full of trees - I remember walking to school under the chestnuts in bloom, and then in the Autumn term, hunting for conkers that nestled like treasures in the fallen leaves.  Watching the skies through the empty trees on this winter visit has been wonderful.

On the last day of the year we - the Captain, Nute and me - went to the cemetery at Crookes and left some flowers - tulips - on daddy's and Jo's graves.  There was an icy wind blowing, but it was lovely in a wuthering kind of way.

Jehovah made such beauty for us.  And I hope so much that daddy and Jo will be woken from the dreamless sleep of death and see it all again.  

That will be an immeasurable surprise, as Jehovah recreates the dead from the dust of the ground, and they find themselves alive again, in the restored earthly paradise.  Because how many of the dead even knew of the promise of the resurrection?   It will be such a joyful time.

As the King James translation says: "Awake and sing, all ye that dwell in dust!"