A Flelfie

This is a Flelfie - a flower photo taken by myself - and its of our Orchard table.  I did have one of some lilies that Captain B bought me at the weekend, but my thumb makes an appearance.

Its the last day of May, and so my last blog for the month is due. Where is the time going? And what have  I been doing? Sleeping a lot I'm afraid, due to my new tablets - a strong anti-depressant which is supposed to fool my brain into stopping the skin problem.  What worries me is what else it might be doing to my poor brain, especially as I am not depressed in the clinical sense. I am supposed to take it at night, but when I do it seems to turn off the mechanism that lets me sleep. So I am taking it in the morning and it is making me both sleepy and not able to sleep very well...?

And I still have my skin problem.  I am just wondering for how much longer I am going to be viable. Its a relief that Disraeli Hall is going to be published though - all done and dusted.  I started writing it just before the turn of the millennium, as you will see if you read it.

It was hot and sunny yesterday - odd for a Bank Holiday weekend - and beach and Green seemed to be back to normal  And, yes, as forecast, its hot and sunny today - and I put in some time on the morning balcony doing my Ezekiel study for this week.

The Initial Call

My first copy of DISRAELI HALL arrived today!  The large print copy.

I had a part in the Ministry School last night. While always nervous, I feel more relaxed about delivering it when I'm not the one doing the teaching. I don't like being on screen though. I tried not to open my mouth too much, without mumbling (missing front tooth!). Anyway, we did it, and it seemed to go very smoothly.   

This is the script we were working from, though we didn't read it word for word:

J - Hello Sue, how's your day going?

Sue - Oh, OK I guess. I'm just having a frustrating day. I was watching the News this morning, seeing tiny children being pulled from blitzed buildings - and then in class this morning a child disclosed something so worrying that I am going to have to report it.  What is wrong with the world?  I can't understand why people do such terrible things.

J - Yes, I really understand what you are saying. We hear about such horrors and I certainly think that working with kids can make you more aware of the  bad things that happen. But, as you know, I am a Jehovah's Witness, and I definitely feel that believing what i do helps me to make sense of the things that i see and hear about.  And it helps because from what I have learned I know this was not God's purpose for the earth.

S - I'm not really religious, but I envy you your faith.  My family are quite spiritual - they believe in God, but i can't say that I have looked into it really.  The more I hear about all the bad things that are happening the more I find it hard to believe in a god, because I don't understand how he could let this happen.

J - I think that a lot of people feel that way.  Certainly I can understand why you might think that. Would you mind if I share with you what I've learned from my studies about God's purpose for the earth, because this is something that has brought me a lot of comfort.

S - By all means.

J - His original purpose is found here at Genesis 1:28, which says:  God blessed them, and God said to them: “Be fruitful and become many, fill the earth and subdue it, and have in subjection+the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and every living creature that is moving on the earth.”

From that, what do you understand God's original purpose to be?

 

S - Very simply, to have children and to care for the animals.

J - That's right.  God's original plan for us was that we would live in peaceful, paradise conditions and that we would have a happy life taking care of our families and the animals and caring for the earth.  How does that sound to you? Are those conditions that you would like to live in?

S - That sounds wonderful. A wonderful purpose.  I'm sure most people would want that.  But if that was God's plan how come we aren't living like that.  The world is nothing like that.

S - That's a good question and actually the next time we have a break I'd love to have a chat with yu about that if its OK?  Because you're right, the world isn't like that at the moment, but the Bible does reassure us that God's plan for humans hasn't changed, so maybe we could take about how he is going to accomplish that next time.

S - Yes, I would like that.

We slept in this morning and I missed the Field Service meeting.  Captain Butterfly is recovering from a 4.30 alarm call yesterday morning (as am I), and a long day's toiling in the detectorist fields somewhere on the Outer Planets (judging by the early start).  It seems neither Roman nor Celt ever got there though, as no coins were found  I wonder about ring pulls - have the Brit Stag and Hen Party crowd made it out there yet?  Anyway he hurtled back just in time to change into his SUSSAR costume, gulp down a hot dinner and then it was off for a long Search and Rescue training session.

Even the Captain is admitting he is not as young as he was.  Which makes me sad.  Due to being the proud inheritor of the family arthritis gene, I have been not as young as I was for many years now, but I still see Captain Butterfly as the London boy I met at Uni many years ago.

As we said in our Script above, it is a sad system we are living in at the moment.   But please think of the wonderful future the Bible promises us, here on this lovely planet.

Ne'er Cast a Clout

It hailed Monday lunchtime - after a morning of pouring rain.  As the old saying goes: "Ne'er cast a clout till May be out" - or don't discard your Winter clothing till the end of May.   The afternoon was sunny, but cold with a strong wind; wonderful waves on the Channel.  

Tuesday - overcast - and today, Wednesday, has started off cold but sunny, and the Channel has calmed down.

So much for the Weather bulletin.  And it is all good with me.  I know most people want blazing sunshine every day, but i love weather, in all its moods.  I have a part in the Ministry School on Thursday - as the householder, I don't have to write or lead this one.   I will probably publish the talk in my next blog.

Today it was sunny - I even sat out on the balcony this morning, but by the afternoon it was too cold, though sunny, even for Captain Butterfly to go out looking for Dukes of Burgundy, which the butterfly grapevine says have begun to appear.

I spent this morning on Zoom with a friend - we discussed our ailments and hopefully also cheered each other up - and this evening I practise the part i have in the Ministry School tomorrow with one of my young sisters in Zoom.   

Apart from that, I made a banana bread, using this recipe I found in The Guardian:    https://www.theguardian.com/food/2021/may/24/simple-banana-cake-by-ravneet-gill

We haven't tasted it yet, so I can't say how it has worked, but it looks and smells good.  Its a long time since I tried a new cake recipe so I might add this to my pantheon (marmalade muffins, fruit cake, carrot cake) if Captain B likes it.  It is for his packed lunches.

This blog is getting more like "The Diary of a Nobody" by the day.  Oh and the banana bread/cake is very nice.  Or so I have just been told by my researcher, who is busy wiping crumbs from his mouth.

DISRAELI HALL

My third book "Disraeli Hall" now has its Amazon page!   

http://getbook.at/DisraeliHall

The official launch is August 28th.

It is a mystery - there is a suspicious death which I solve - and I hope it is both frightening and funny.  It started as a book about the two houses of my childhood; my parents' house which was on a road named after a British Prime Minister (not Disraeli), and my Granny's rambling old cottage and garden, the family home of my mother and her brothers.   The book turned out differently from what I was expecting, but some aspects of both homes remain.

I very much wanted it to be called "A Present from Betelgeuse", but as it is not SciFi - nor even magic realism, or fantasy - I really couldn't.  It is fiction though, and I hope it is a good read.  

Wednesday was the Zoom meeting then I spent the morning in another Zoom group catching up with my friend Jen.  And Thursday was the family Zoom meeting Yorkshire - to Oz - to South Coast England. Though actually we meet in Team - so are we Teaming rather than Zooming?  We got glimpses of grandchildren which is always nice.

Young Sami, eldest of my parents' granddaughters, is finished her third year at Uni.  The youngest has only just started preschool.

More Zooming yesterday - congregation meeting  for field service - and also more medical matters. My two yearly eye check - an hour, not made any easier by my forgetting my hearing aids...

Poor Captain Butterfly.  I am getting to be a full time job.  However, I must have carelessly left a window open as he flew off, metal detector in hand, at some unearthly hour this morning, so I had plenty of time go get ready for the Saturday morning field service group - the long one, n which I made my first one-tooth-down appearance (and all the horses stampeded).  I finished up my letters for this week, and got some new territory to work in.

The brother taking the field service group offered us this Scriptures as a good centre point for one of our letters:   It's at Jeremiah 29:11, which says:  “’For I well know the thoughts that I am thinking toward you’ declares Jehovah, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of calamity, to give you a future and a hope.’”

And I was glad to note that i am already using it in one of my letters. It is so reassuring in a world system that is offering us no real future and no real hope.

And to get back to "Disraeli Hall", it ends on a really positive note, which I don't think my other books do.  Is it the effect of all this lovely teaching, the hopes for such happiness that the Bible holds out to every one of us that is finding its way into my fiction?

The Scented Balcony

I was out on our balcony on Tuesday morning doing my studying - our Bible reading for the week in the Book of Numbers.  The air was full of the scent of Nemesia - and the Channel was so lovely, layers of colour, and the sky was full of what Philip Larkin called "high-builded clouds" - white and fluffy in a blue blue sky.

I thanked Jehovah for making it so beautiful for us - and hope one day to be able to thank him from a perfect heart.   

I was wondering too if "The Scented Balcony" would be a good book title.  Or not.  It sounds like it would be a sensitive kind of novel, with lots of emoting and not much done, i.e. rather boring.  On the other hand I do remember a Jonathan Creek episode called "The Scented Room" which involved the disappearance of a valuable painting from a locked and guarded room.

But as its not likely we would be keeping a valuable painting - if indeed we had one - on a balcony, I don't think that would work either.

We had a small walk to the river and back in the afternoon - all my poor crumbling back will take.  It was sunnyish with a cold wind blowing and quite a lot of people out.  The little beach shops are beginning to re-open but the weather was against them.  Things are, in theory, beginning to return to normal, with a certain worry about what they call the "Indian" variant of Covid hanging over us.  It is apparently doing devastating damage on the sub-continent.

I got some more territory on Saturday and hope to begin it today at the Zoom field service meeting.   I have been trying to recover from a week on my new med - a strong psychiatric sort of drug (prescribed I believe for depression, but in this case apparently to try "to fool" my brain into stopping giving me eczema).   I am not depressed in the clinical sense, though obviously my health problems get me down at times.  I am in the death zone - have had my "three score years and ten", so I know to be grateful I am still here.

And the medicine did fool my brain into switching off the eczema!  But, alas, it also seemed to switch off the mechanism which allowed me to sleep.  And it filled my mind with strange strange thoughts.  So after a week I have had to stop taking it...  

Not sure what do do.  The doctors assure me it is prescribed at the lowest dose, so I can't reduce it.  I seem to have reached that stage where my meds begin to clash impossibly with each other.

I am also wondering what it must be like to be on a normal dose of it...

In the meantime, I hope to be able to get back to my letters, telling everyone who will listen about the Kingdom of God.  It alone can solve our problems - restoring obedient humankind to perfection: physical, mental, moral - and restoring the earth to the paradise it was always meant to be.  And then, and only then, our real lives can begin.  

Wonky Horn - Brains over Brawn

Wonky Horn is one of four male Hercules beetles at Chester Zoo - we see him and his 3 fit mates in "The Secret Life of the Zoo"  

https://www.radiotimes.com/tv-programme/e/ghxsvd/the-secret-life-of-the-zoo--series-5-episode-4/

It is the usual sad story - habitat loss, species in trouble - so the Keepers are eager to see if they can get a female beetle hatched out and mated.  When they have succeeded and the lovely lady is ready for marriage, they are worried because they know the male beetles will fight for her. They are very strong - Hercules beetles, after all.   And Wonky Horn was so named because he didn't come out of his pupa very successfully. He is missing a leg and one of his horns is very wonky.

So the Keepers hoped he would have the sense to stay out of the fight for the lady as he wouldn't stand a chance, and could easily be killed!

After a lot of careful hatching, the lady was introduced.  Nothing happened for a few minutes and then the 4 lads, who had got on fine up to then, suddenly realised that a beautiful lady was among them.  One of the four - grumpy old bachelor type maybe, who liked a quiet life - made off quickly and buried himself in the leaf mould.  A sensible sort of chap I thought. The other two fit ones squared off and began an epic struggle.

As soon as they were fully occupied with their fight, Wonky Horn - clearly a lover not a fighter - trundled wonkily towards the female, wooed her and won her.

Hence my little poem:

Wonky Horn/Brains over Brawn.

Clearly I spent some time on Friday telly watching - as I do every day to be truthful.  But I did also attend the field service meeting and stopped on to say hello afterwards.  I still can't appear in Zoom due to missing front tooth.  Loss of front tooth in childhood = cute gappy smile; loss of front tooth in second childhood = hideous old crone.  

Then I spent the morning doing my letters, finishing my territory, so I can get some more today  I also made lunch for us - tomato. lentil and chicken soup - and made up Col's packed lunches for the weekend.  He was called out on a SUSSAR search in the morning.  It was a search for a young girl - a depressive, hence a suicide risk.  The beach was searched, but she was not found.  Sadly, she is far from alone in her feelings.

And I found this on the current page of JW.org which I hope will help any of us who are feeling down.  And it something we can use to help others.  Being Bible based, it is full of practical wisdom - and assurances of how precious we are to our Creator, how he knows us and what we are going through,. And how much Jehovah wants to help us, if we will accept his help.

https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/suicidal-thoughts-want-to-die/

My Balcony Life

My balcony life began again this week as - with some urging (think taser/cattleprod) from Captain B, who thinks I need the sunshine. So even though it wasn't very warm, I did get some sunshine and completed my Bible reading for the Thursday night meeting.  The congregations worldwide are in Numbers and Ezekiel at the moment - and no matter how many times we have studied them, there is still so much to learn.

It was  my second dental surgery on Wednesday afternoon.  The new fitting has been screwed in to my jaw - but I still have no tooth. The surgeon thinks it better to let it settle in unbothered this time.  So I am all for lockdown just at the moment as, even if I do have to go our, I won't be frightening the horses as long as I am masked.

The Dental Surgeon was talking about the way things are going worldwide - and before he could fill my mouth with implements I did refer him to our website JW.org.  I hope he will take a look at it.  For sure, he realises this:  we cannot fix the problems we have.  

The headlines today are full of the Israeli/Palestinian confict - and many other horrors.  Psalm 37 contains perfect advice, from our Creator Jehovah, who is the very Source of wisdom, as to how to deal with all this without making things worse.  

And while we cannot ourselves restore paradise - only the Kingdom of God can do that - if everyone on earth was at least trying to follow the advice in Psalm 37, the world would be so much more peaceful, straight away.   All we can do is to go on telling people what the Bible really says and hoping and praying they will listen.  We still have to go letterbox by letterbox though - we are still locked down.  (And as I said above, mask wearing when out is a big plus for me at the moment - and for anyone who might have to look at me).

Nemesia

On our way back from our failed walk on Friday - the Gardens were Closed but we had a short walk to the top for a bit of a Downland view instead - we stopped at the small garden centre and got some more nemesia for the balcony, so I hope the air will soon be filled with  their scent.

It rained heavily on Saturday morning which will have helped them to settle down in their new home.  It was field service on Saturday morning in Zoom of course - and one of the younger sister helped me to find 3 of the mysterious missing 5 dwellings from my current territory.   And Sunday was our Circuit Assembly - a day of Bible teaching, usually held somewhere in the badlands of Surrey -  but today I will be at my own computer and in my own kitchen - livestreamed.

The theme was:  MAKE JEHOVAH'S HEART REJOICE.  It was wonderful but also depressingly tiring. I am so feeble these days.

There are some wonderful things to take away from it - and also some things that make me feel guilty at the way I have been using my time.

The theme Scripture was Proverbs 27:11:  "Be wise, my son, and make my heart rejoice, So that I can make a reply to him who taunts me."

We can make Jehovah's heart rejoice if we serve him loyally, out of love.   And the first  Speaker started with the question:  What can we give to someone who has everything?  Jehovah is the Source of life, the universe and everything, yet he allows us to give him something in return for all he has given us.  We have free will and can choose whether we wish to serve him loyally - or not.

And Jehovah tells us how happy it makes him when we do.  It makes us very happy too - even as things are now - and probably more happy than we can now imagine in the restored earthly paradise.

And if you want to know who it is that taunts Jehovah, who claims that not one of us children of Adam will serve him out of love, but only if we are bribed to do so, then do look art the first chapter of Job.

Lilian - exPlanetExpat - rang me  just after the Assembly had finished - and we had a chat about our difficulties and old times.  Like me she used to be a great walker.  We have known each other for a long long time - and its not really possible to talk about our Dhahran days with anyone who wasn't there.  Its not interesting for them, and its also hard to explain how it was.

How Did My Tooth Know it was a Bank Holiday?

The bluebells are out in the local woodlands.

It was May Bank Holiday last weekend - no dentist on tap.  So one of my new front temporary teeth began to make its bid for freedom.  I rang my dentist hoping there might be some emergency holiday cover to pre-empt it, but there wasn't.  And on the Bank holiday Monday it made its great escape and fell out.  At my emergency appointment on Tuesday, I was told it was not good news... I will have to have more surgery...  I am beginning to wish that I had not started this - 

In the meantime as I have some medical appointment this week, I am very grateful for lockdown and still having to wear a mask.  When you are in your first childhood a big gap in your front teeth is cute and charming.  In your second childhood, it is not.

Our study Watchtower article this week is "Young Men, How can you gain the trust of others?" - and we will be looking at the Biblical example of David. As I was beginning the article today, I came across this:

"3 While young, David developed skills that others valued. He was clearly a spiritual person, and he cultivated his skill as a musician and used that talent to benefit Saul, God’s appointed king. (1 Sam. 16:16, 23) Do you young men have a skill that could benefit others in the congregation? Many of you do. For example, you may notice that some older ones appreciate being shown how to make the best use of their tablets and other electronic devices for personal study and for meetings. Your knowledge of these devices can be of great benefit to such older ones."

Yes.  We, us oldies, can always go to the young brothers for help with these bewildering things.  Of course Captain Butterfly is my main Go-to Guy in all such problems - he is a tower of strength even though not as young as he was.  

All being well we plan a small - very small - outing tomorrow morning.  So I hope there will be another beautiful photo of the glory of May in my next blog.

The Initial Call

I was asked to stand in and do the Initial Call on Thursday night.  It was all a bit rushed, but this is the part I wrote out for us. I decided that I would start it at the end of a phone call, as we cannot go door to door at the moment. 

Householder....  so that is all the information we need, and thank you for your time.  Is there anything you want to ask me before we finish?

Sue:   Yes. I was wondering why you needed to know what religion I was. It seems an odd question in this context.  Its not a problem. I was just wondering.

HH:   Oh. That's an interesting question.  I hadn't thought about it. And I don't know to be honest. It is a bit odd with this sort of insurance If it was medical, can understand why we might need to know, as I see you are a Jehovah's Witness, and you are the people who refuse blood transfusions aren't you.  I used to go to church when I was young and all I can say is that you must have a strong faith in Jesus or someone to refuse them.

Sue:  Thank you. And yes, we do - we believe everything the Bible tells us about Jesus. But first and foremostly we put our faith in our Creator, Jehovah, the Almighty God.

HH:  But they are the same person aren't they - I seem to remember being taught that at school.

Sue:  So was I.  But what does the Bible actually have to say about it.  Can I read you one short verse?  It is the answer to the question Peter gave when Jesus asked him who he understood Jesus to be  (reads Matthew 16:16):  "Simon Peter answered: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”  Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God.  So would you say that Jesus and the living God, Jehovah, are the same person, or two different people?

HH:  It says they are are two different people, father and son.

Sue:  Exactly. So we have faith in our Creator Jehovah, and faith in the ransom sacrifice of Jesus' perfect human life, the precious blood that he shed on our behalf.

HH:  Yes, we learnt at school about Jesus dying for us, but I can't say I really understood what it was all about.  It never made any sense to me to be honest.   

Sue.  I know what you mean.  I never understood it, not for many years until two Jehovah's Witnesses called at my door and showed me what the Bible on my shelf was saying.  I would love to tell you what they told to me, but you are at work and I should not take up any more of your time. But listen, if you would like to know more you have just taken all my contact details, and you are very welcome to phone me or email me.  Or you could look at our excellent website JW.org,  If you put "ransom sacrifice" into the search engine you will find a wealth of Bible-based information.

HH: Thanks. I might do that.

Penny zoomed in to join us, which was lovely.  The metal detecting continues apace and tomorrow I really must make another cake and re-stock the freezer. I have felt so bad over the weekend that I have got next to nothing done.

Terry rang on Sunday to ask Col if he would book him another morning slot at The Wetland Trust - he is not online - and it got me thinking of what have now become the good old days when the four of us - Terry, Jacks, Captain B and Mrs Captain used to have our monthly outings to the Wetland Trust for talks - and tea and biscuits.