Cards by Sarah Duffield (the Art Cafe)

Sarah Duffield - Looking West

I was out with my siblings on Thursday morning doing first call work - my first for a while, as Jean and  I have been concentrating on return visits. And I know how important it is as I am so grateful that Jehovah sent his Witnesses to my door - over 30 years ago now!   And who knows where the time goes.  Thirty years.

The sister I usually go out with on Thursday was very tired - has not been sleeping well - and I am very tired - its been an emotional week.  But we sort of encouraged each other, got out there and had a lovely morning finishing with a coffee at Waitrose. She treated me to a new kind of latte - a Macha tea Latte I believe (which I hope I have spelt right).   It has a very strong and distinctive taste, and I absolutely loved it.  It is both creamy and refreshing.

My jobs today are to go out on the preaching work this morning with the valiant Jean; to get something in for Jackie who is coming to supper (I do have some emergency pies in the freezer - but I seem to have given her emergency pies the last time she came); and also to send condoldence cards to Ken's family - my sister and the children.  Or at least to get them written out and ready to go.

I found some lovely cards by a local artist Sarah Duffield in the Pier Road Coffee and Art Cafe
www.sduffieldart.co.uk

One of them has the title "All the way there and back again".     They are local scenes, striking and different, with an Autumnal quality about them. One is even called "Autumnal".

I feel Ken would have liked them.  And, as an artist all his life, I know he would have wanted me to support a local artist.

Another card - perhaps the one I shall choose for my sister is called "Warm Repose".    As Catholic Convent schoolgirls, many many years ago, we were taught some terrible things about death.  So I hope it will be a reminder that the Inspired Scriptures assure us there are no dreams in the sleep of death,  just a wonderful awakening to come.

It would have saved poor Hamlet an awful lot of soliloquising if he had only known that.

Anyway, I hope to get all these things achieved today...  but who knows? 

Ken

Our brother in law, Ken Reah, died on Monday evening - peacefully and at home.   Col and I opened a bottle of wine and spent the rest of the evening remembering him, under one of his lovely paintings of Endcliffe Park pictured above.

He was an intensely creative person - a potter, a painter, a maker of art installations, a teacher  One of Ken's pots is on display at the Bowes Museum, Durham.  His garden was his work of art too, as it had been my father's during his lifetime.

He had one novel published and was working on the next one when he died.  He and my sister had been editing it, which was all he could do, creatively speaking, in his last few days.
https://www.fantasticbooksstore.com/edge-of-arcadia-all-formats.html

He was a good cook too.  Great curries.   He made a wonderful sort of meat and lentil loaf called a Dutch Roast, and lots of tasty soups.     I think we first met him when he asked us round for a meal at his flat in Ecclesall Road.  And he has been feeding us wonderful meals ever since.  I should say "had been feeding us" I guess.  It all takes some getting used to.

We lived with him and my sister for a while after they were married, and then we bought the house next door. That is before we left for our 25 year stint in the Middle East.   So how long ago it all seems.  But also it brings it home to me how short our lives are now, how quickly they go.

We have quite a few of his paintings, but the one above has pride of place.

Ken was well over his threescore years and ten, but he found life as interesting and fascinating as ever.  He wanted to go on being with his family, his wife, his children, his grandchildren, his friends, his neighbours.  And he had so much more to do.

I think if I was allowed to say only one thing about Ken it would be how much he appreciated the gift of life, being on this lovely planet in this splendid universe.   And he appreciated it right up to the end.

This is what gives me a real hope that we will see him again, when the time comes.   He did not acknowledge a Creator, but he did love the creation.   And surely he would love to live forever in the restored earthly paradise.

And if his family loved him so much, how much more does his Creator love him, and miss him?

So I will end my blog with these words from the Book of Job.

" If a man dies, can he live again? I will wait all the days of my compulsory service until my relief comes.  You will call, and I will answer you. You will long for the work of your hands." - Job 14:14,15

If a man dies, can he live again?

The answer is yes.  Jehovah, our Creator, longs for the work of his hands - and Ken was the work of his hands. 

So, remembering that, we can leave Ken safe in "the everlasting arms", safe in God's memory, every hair of his head numbered - and hope and believe that he has the most wonderful awakening ahead of him.

He will feel so well when he wakes up again!

Sussex Butterfly AGM

We planned to meet up with Elizabeth for coffee at the Art Cafe on Friday morning.  But just as we were about to set off Col got a callout from SUSSAR  (https://www.sussar.org.uk/website/).  Someone afflicted with dementia had gone missing while down here with his family.   He had taken himself for a walk and not been able to find his way home.

So Captain Butterfly got into his rescue outfit, flew out of his phone box, scooped me up in his strong manly superarms and dropped me off at the Art Cafe.  The Long Lost Elizabeth and I were chatting away over our coffee when her phone rang.  It was Captain Butterfly, on his way to join us!  The Misper (missing person to you and me) had been found. Thank goodness.  So we had a nice coffee and chat session and then did a quick shop at Lidl's on the way back home.

I also tried out a new BBQ chicken recipe, which did not work out well. Though Col was happy enough to have it for supper. I think its partly that I am finding it harder and harder to eat meat, especially if I have had to cook it myself.

The weekend seems to have been and gone in a few seconds.   It was the Sussex Butterfly Conservation AGM on Saurday. David came with us, Col driving, through the rain.   It went off very well.  Jess Price despatched the necessary business competently and then we had a couple of very interesting talks.  There was one technical one from Pete Eeles  - and what stays in my mind is how few clues there are in a caterpillar as to what sort of butterfly it is going to become.    One slight exception is the Comma Caterpillar, which has got raggedy edge to it that might lead you to guess that a Comma is on the way.

And his talk reminded me that I must look up the word "instar", which seems to mean "caterpillar", but also chrysalis (possibly?).

We had tea and excellent home-made cakes.   Not that I could eat the cakes, but I had a corner of Col's lemon drizzle slice. And it was so good.

We ended with Michael (Blencowe) compering the raffle and giving his usual fun and informative take on the Butterfly year.   

And Butterfly Mark was there.   It was a good day out, as it always is.

Sunday was the meeting, but I did very little else, beyond getting the Captain's supper ready for him - steak pie and lots of veggies.   And this morning we shopped in the pouring rain, delivered Jackie's shopping, and booked her for supper on Saturday night.

Pen and I are taking it in turns to check in with Nute.  Ken is now sleeping most of the time, and it sounds like it may only be a matter of days now.

I was thinking today about the first time I met Ken - at his flat on Abbeydale Road. 

Walking Scuttle. A Memory of Pauline, a good friend

Walking Scuttle
by me, about a walk we (Pauline's dog Scuttle and I) took many years ago on a sunny day in Sheffield

Down Scuttle's alley
in the wild inner city
briar rose grows
toads scurry
elder smells spicy
Chip papers underfoot
summer skies over
Scuttle tugs at the tangled root
squats in the clover.


Wherever Pauline went little Scuttle went too, if it was humanly possible.  I think I am right in saying they were both arrested at Greenham Common.  And that is what a dog needs from its person - constant companionship, even if it does mean getting arrested together.

Life was never boring when Pauline was around.   I met her when she and my sisters were involved in the Sheffield Peace Movement.   We all became friends, even though, even then before  I began my Bible study, I was not active politically. 

And she was a very good friend. I can remember after the first of my arthritis-related disasters (fell over, broke my leg, in plaster for months) she used to drive round in her taxi and take me out for a veggie lunch every week - always taking care to find an accessible place.    She was not a taxi driver by the way - it was a de-commissioned taxi.  And nice and roomy too - easy to fit a leg in plaster in.

She and her daughters moved to New Zealand many years ago, and in our expat years, the Captain and I visited them.

She lived right down south in Invercargill - next stop the Antarctic.  The light is fantastic there, with "its shimmerings of Antarctic ice" (I am quoting Janet Frame).  She was as busy as ever, and living in a rambling old house full of books and pictures just as before - the sort of house I always feel at home in.

Then she moved to North Island NZ (warmer climes), and then to Israel (even warmed climes) with her oldest daughter and family.  The last time I spoke to her they were planning to come back to the UK, to the Brighton area, so I thought we would be seeing each other again.

But that is not to be - not this side of Armageddon anyway.     So I hope that Pauline is now sleeping safe in "the everlasting arms", safe in Jehovah's memory, every hair of her head numbered.   And when God wakes her from the dreamless sleep of death, she will open her eyes in an earth truly at peace, an earth ruled by the law of loving kindness.

And that surely is the earth she always wanted to find herself in.   As the Hebrew Scriptures tell us, it will be a joyful awakening.

“Your dead will live... Awake and cry out joyfully, You residents in the dust! For your dew is as the dew of the morning, And the earth will let those powerless in death come to life."
Isaiah 26:19

Your dead will live.  This is a promise from our Creator, the God of Abraham, who cannot and does not lie, and whose every purpose is fulfilled.

All us Old Boilers

A difficult week.  Monday morning was spent at the Hospital, seeing the Dermatologist, But he did explain to me why I have this eczema.  It is my immune system attacking me.   (And please, immune system, if you are lurking here, stop it, at once.)    The kind of arthritis I have is one of those immune system diseases like Lupus, where the body attacks itself.

My left hand is now swollen and painful. However I did manage to take Jean out on Tuesday morning for an hour of return visits, and make a couple of large fruitcakes before the hand went AWOL.   Its the Butterfly AGM on Saturday and a Cry for Cake usually goes out and I usually supply the fruitcake.

If its not wanted to on voyage this year, no problem, as I will slice and freeze it for the Captain's sandwich lunches.  It is a boil and bake fruitcake recipe from a Cranks Cookbook that Col bought for me years ago.  I have been making it for years, and it has never let me down. 

Jacks spent the day with us yesterday having woken up to find herself without heating and hot waer - her boiler had stopped working. Along, oddly, with her fridge.  Don't they usually choose the hottest time of the year to break down?  I know that ours did.

Anyway, it was too cold for Jacks to stay at home so she spent the day with us in our warm flat while her son and the plumber got the boiler fixed.  We had soup for lunch and a fish and chip supper. And Adam joined us for coffee after.

I have gone very deaf again - so it was all a bit of a strain as I couldn't really hear what anyone was saying.  And Captain Butterfly had two elderly ladies to look after, instead of the usual one.

It was a day of sad news too.  An old friend has died.   And news of my bro in law is so bad that it may only be a matter of days for him now. But it will be weeks at the most. 

All lives end in tragedy now - sooner or later.   But it will not always be like this. That connection, so fatally broken in Eden, will be restored.  And, then, as the Bible promises "your dead ones will live".

The Spectator Cartoon

The Spectator and Private Eye have the best cartoons. Its worth subscribing for them alone. And the current Speccie has a great cartoon I would love to reproduce here, but probably shouldn't for copyright reasons.  I wonder if they would mind.

Anyway, it portrays a gentleman who is fast asleep in a comfy armchair beside a roaring fire, with a plump cat watching him speculatively from the floor.   The caption is Target Seat

Wonderful. Spot on. And it reminded me of our fierce old Saudi cat Whites.  He had a very effective Target Seat technique.  Back in the days when we used to entertain and had friends round most nights, if anyone was sitting in the particular chair he fancied, they would be eased out of it in such gentle careful stages that after a while it seemed they had always been sitting on the floor in front of a chair/sofa with a large white cat comfortably ensconsed.

Wonderful meeting Thursday night - but a lot of empty spaces in the Hall. So many of us are off sick. I had planned to be out on Thursday with another sibling, but we were both ill.  And the sister I usually chauffeur to the Hall was sick too and decided to stay home and listen on the telephone link.

On Friday I had my third medical appointment of the week!    Poor old NHS.  Anyway, I am to persevere with the new med for another month and then if I am still feeling sick and a bit dizzy, make another appointment and my GP will change the med. He wants to keep me on this if possible as it is, apparently, doing its job very well.  He thinks I may have picked up one of the bugs that is doing the rounds, and for sure a lot of people are not well at the moment - see above. 

Jacks came round last night - for chicken pie (again) with cabbage cooked Madhur Jaffrey style (with carrots, chile and coriander) and sweet potato.   Pen phoned to update us re Ken and I must ring this afernoon when I get back from the meeting.  We are in the throes of it now as we all get older - feeling the full force of the Biblical warning that, as the moment "death reigns as king over us".

My mother, crippled by the family arthritis, only lasted till 74.  That does not give me a lot more time.

How short oue lives are now.   And how deeply grateful I am that Jehovah sent his Witnesses to my door, or I would now be overwhelmed by it all, instead of feeling full of hope in spite of it all.

Which reminds that Jean and I managed an hour and a half on the preaching work yeserday - one very long return visit.

Disorder

Captain Butterfly came back from his Hampshire detecting day on Sunday without a single gold nugget.  Which might be because there are no goldfields in Hampshire, and it has never, to my nowledge, had a gold rush.

But one can always hope.  Especially as we are now hooked on "Aussie Gold Hunters".  We take a great interest in each family, be they The Gold Gypsies or the Dirt Dogs or whoever, and we are hoping they are all going to find that dream nugget.  "A ripper!" Amazing people in an amazing landscape. The outback is beautiful. And I can feel the excitement of finding each nugget of gold.  Its a tough but wonderful way to earn a living. If we were younger...

And talking of Oz - my bro and his family in Sydney are now threatened by horrendous wildfires, while one of my sisters and her family are suffering in the floods that have devastated my Northern hometown.  The torrential rain was badly needed in Sydney - but that is not where it fell.

How disordered things are now.   And this is one of the many reasons we need Jehovah's Kingdom ot rule over us.   Jesus is the King of that Kingdom, and when he was on the earth, he showed us that he can perfectly control the weather, the natural forces.  Which is something no human ruler, with the best will in the world, can do.

I continue poorly - the change of medicines is making me feel very sick - and I have ongoing arthritis issues.  I tottered off to the clinic for a blood test - another blood test! - today, but that is about all I have done.   A few Butterfly paperwork queries have been sorted out (but not yet posted), and I did do some studying and got lunch and supper for the Captain and myself.

Oh, and I watched the broadcast. I usually go and watch it at the Kingdom Hall, but we were away at the AGM.   When I was talking to Jean on the phone today, she said I had to watch it.  I was feeling so down (health problems) and she knew it would give me a boost.

There are some great experiences from my siblings from all over the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUxvHnPiw_4

The Sussex Wildlife Trust AGM - and a Flare-up

Its been a painful and difficult flare-up  - both shoulders and right hand overcome by arthritis. I missed the Thursday field service and meeting, and Friday night was so painful that I did not think I would get to the AGM with Captain Butterfly on Saturday   However, he helped me get dressed and we managed.  He drove obviously. 

It was a great day out - a talk from Michael Blencowe, who made us laugh while giving us a brilliant summary of the wildlife year in Sussex.  He also helped Col to find me in the crowd, as it took the poor Captain a long time to find anywhere to park   I had gone ahead and got us seats - which was  a good thing as it was full.  And we saw Jamie get a well-deserved award for the work he has done in Wildlife Conservation.

We ended with a vegetarian buffet lunch - and we got talking to a nice lady who is a Friend of the Pallant Gallery - currently our favourite gallery.

Drove back through the pouring rain.  We seem to be getting the rainstorms that have just flooded my Northern hometown.

We found out from facebook, via Helen, that Nute and Ken had been trapped at home with no electricity for most of two days.  The engineers had managed to get it back briefly and it went again. All due to the flooding of the city centre I assume.  What is comforting is that they were on a priority Action List, as Ken is so ill - and I think they were among the first who were turned back on.

So grateful for that.

And the talk and study at the Kingdom Hall this morning were very very comforting indeed.

The brother giving us the public talk reminded us that Jehovah's word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. (Psalm 119:105)  It is the only thing that will light our way safely back to our Creator, Jehovah.   I read those words many years ago in a Bible Col's Aunt Thelma had given him. She had written these words in the front -which is why I read them.  At that time I knew next to nothing of the Bible, but those powerful words stayed with me. And I located them many years later when I began to study the Bible with the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Back then I must have recognised that I was lost in the dark and needed help.  Now I understand why I am lost - why we all are - and I understand why it is God's inspired word that lights the way. And I am very grateful to know it too.

The Dummies Guide to Serial Killing

My sister Nute has won a Silver Dagger (her second such award!) with her short story called (brace yourself) "The Dummies Guide to Serial Killing".  It is a classic of its kind, with a punch. And a great win for her - and for my young publisher Dan. He is not her publisher Thriller-wise, but this was published by him in a Fantastic Book selection.  He chose well.

Here is the book:
https://www.fantasticbooksstore.com/the-dummies-guide-to-serial-killing-and-other-fantastic-female-fables.html

And here is a great article about her win:
https://www.sheffieldtelegraph.co.uk/news/people/sheffield-crime-writer-amazed-award-win-824160

She was not able to go to London and collect the award this time, due to illness in the family.  But Dan went down and collected it for her, and gave a short thankyou speech.

Good news at a stressful time for her.  And it reminded me of what Janet Frame called "the sadness that belongs to the world".  It is all so wonderful, but all so sad.    I was lying on the sofa yesterday, supposedly bracing myself to do my walk, but in fact dreamily watching layers of white clouds drift and join and part across a soft blue sky - beautiful, graceful and muted.

And when I watch the sky - and trees wave against the sky, or the balcony geraniums blowing in the breeze from the sea - I feel a happiness that I must have felt in the faraway days of the late1940s when us babies used to lie outside in our prams, watching the sky and the leaves and the trees blowiing in the peaceful post-war winds.

Then it was an uncomplicated unconscious happiness. But soon I became aware of the strange sadness of things, a wrongness somewhere.

Now, because I know who created it all and why, and what has gone wrong, and how it's being put right, I often feel that uncomplicated happiness -that joy in the creation - again.   And I can now hope that I will not have to lose it forever in the blackness of darkness, the nothingness that is death.

I am so grateful for being taught by Jehovah. There is no teaching like it.  He is truly the "Grand Insructor".  And He is offering this teaching freely to everyone.

And I wonder, as I may have blog-wondered before, what sort of stories we will write when the whole earth is restored to Paradise   Will we even have or need fiction then? I don't know. But we really only have one plot now, which is that something has gone wrong and it has to be put right. And to throw the term"post-modern" about (your guess is as good as mine), much current art seems to me to say that things have gone wrong and its all hopeless, or even that this is how it is meant to be.

This is the very story we, the damaged children of Adam, are living. Things have gone very wrong, we have not been able to put them right, and many are now losing hope.   Can we really imagine any other story?    Well, if I am blogging away a Thoutsand Years from now, who knows what new things there will be?  All we can sure of is that they will all be wonderful, and if there are short stories being written then, they will require a very different sort of title.  But how sad that many are losing hope - or being persuaded to lose hope - just as the rescue is imminent.   The valiant Jean and I were out there yesterday morning trying to tell others. And thank God, we had some lovely calls.

I did force myself to have that walk - to the shops and back - an hour including the shopping. It left me exhausted - and carrying two moderate sized bags of shopping back home has left me with very painful shoulders.  I was going to go out and shop for Jacks and us today, but I can't drive at the moment.   What a feeble creature I am these days.

As a reminder to myself,  I posted cards to Darren, to Gale (with the cartoon about the Bayeux Tapestry from The Speccie), and to Lilian.  The Darren and Lilian cards also had a litte tract about hope for the future enclosed.

It was a Wild and Stormy Night...

... or at any rate it was a Wild and Stormy Day we woke up to on Saturday.  Jean and I had to cancel our outing - she would have been blown away like an Autumn leaf if she had set foot outdoors.  The sea was incredible. I spent rather a lot of the day watching the waves - all that power and energy.  But what else did I do? Not a lot I'm afraid. Some studying, and a bit of housework.  I feel like I am running on enpty at the moment - a combination of age and arthritis I guess

Jackie came round for fish and chips and Strictly Come Dancing.    And this morning Captain Butterfly left early on metal detecting business, while I went to the Kingdom Hall for the meeting. 

We had an excellent talk from a visiting brother, all about maintaining joy in Jehovah's service.   He used a very effective and simple illustration about how our service to God is not a burden, but an aid, a vital help for us.   He asked us to imagine we were walking round a supermarket picking up stuff - bread, milk, cereal, potatoes etc - with our hands getting more and more full so that we are about to start dropping things. At that moment the storekeeper comes over and gives us a basket.

Now, do we see that basket as an extra burden, as something else we have to carry - or is it in fact valuable help, something that will help us with all we do  have to carry?

That is how we need to view what Jehovah requires of us. It is there to help us. And that is so true.  The wonderful teaching we get when we attend the meetings - and the joy we can get from the preaching work, even when there is not much in the way of response. These are all things that help us to carry whatever load we have, and to keep going, with joy.

We all need meaningful and satisfying work to do. And it is quite something to find myself, well into retirement, on borrowed time (under the threescore years and ten rule), doing the most important and urgent work there is - telling all who will listen about the incoming Kingdom of God.