Another "Last"

 Safe in their Alabaster Chambers (124)

By Emily Dickinson

Safe in their Alabaster Chambers -

Untouched by Morning - 

and untouched by noon -

Sleep the meek members of the Resurrection, 

Rafter of Satin and Roof of Stone - 

Grand go the Years, 

In the Crescent above them -

Worlds scoop their Arcs - 

and Firmaments - row -

Diadems - drop -

And Doges surrender -

Soundless as Dots, 

On a Disk of Snow.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45719/safe-in-their-alabaster-chambers-124

As you see, I am having an Emily Dickinson phase at the moment. I came across her poetry in my first year at Uni - many many years ago. And have been a fan ever since.   I can't read this poem without thinking about my parents - and all the others, family and friends - who now sleep the dreamless sleep of death, knowing nothing of the years going by over their heads.

Bea and I talked on the phone on Thursday - and inevitably we mentioned some of those we had lost - so much family, so many friends. Then there is our health. Oh dear!  But we also cheered each other up and made each other laugh, which hopefully helps.  Bea had noted from my last email to her that I was rather down - which was very perceptive, as on the face of it it was an ordinary email.  

Other than that I made the now customary crumble and did the washing.  Plus some of the lights went out, so I had to find the key for the hall cupboard to get into the fusebox.  And I finished my study for the meeting tonight.  To which I went in pixel form as I was shaking with the pain by then - and very cold. I got into my big Broomhill Charity Shop woolly and  Col made me a hot water bottle.

And I did manage to sleep, which helped a lot.  On Friday we had a Zoom session with Julia, an old friend from our years on Planet Expat. She has been retired 10 years now - us even longer. We both agreed that we are loving retirement despite the health problems and are grateful to be here still.

But I think I may have had yet another"last" in that on Saturday Col and I were supposed to go to the annual Biological Recorders Conference, which is something we always enjoy. But I was in such pain that he had to go on his own.  So I guess last year's conference was my last - this side of Armageddon anyway.

And while he was away three of my congregation siblings called in with a bunch of tulips, and cheered me up. I had sent an email that alerted one of them that I was very depressed.  I didn't realise how gloomy I must have been sounding in my recent emails, but was very grateful for the company which was so positive and upbuilding and took my mind off the pain.

Anyway, I did manage to get a few hours sleep last night and, while I started today off creaking along on my zimmer, I can now manage without it.  I feel exhausted, like I have been through a long illness, but the awful pain has gone.  And we had a lovely meeting at the Kingdom Hall this morning - which hopefully comforted all of us - earthwide. I was there only in pixel form of course, but how grateful I am for the Zoom provision.