The sadness of Green-winged Orchids

 

We chose one of Col's photos of the Green-winged Orchid for our August calendar.  This shot is one Col took in Corfu I believe, on one of his trips there with the butterfliers, but in the calendar we only used ones he had taken in the UK.

Orchid, with your wings of green, your stunning hue, I hope that one day, all will be as lovely as you. Now we wither on our stem, but...

A flower dying is beautiful - part of the cycle of life.  The skeletal trees of winter are beautiful, living sculptures.  But our death is far from beautiful as we were not made to die.  Which is what I was hoping to convey in a poem but I sort of ran out of steam.  I have minimal steam these days.

We had such sad news of Richard, one of our fellow butterfly conservationists.  Only a couple of years into what ought to be have been a busy and happy retirement he has died.  And by his own hand.  It is tragic and inexplicable - to us.  But who knows what really goes on in minds and hearts.  Only our loving Creator.

And there lies the hope that our butterfly friend will live again, that Jehovah will wake him from the dreamless sleep of death when the time comes, and he will next open his eyes in the restored earthly paradise.

Maybe Jehovah will wake him into a cloud of butterflies?  Who knows?  But I wish he had known that, whatever his sadness was, and in spite of "the sadness that belongs to the world" (Janet Frame), we are not abandoned to this. 

We are more moth than butterfly oriented now - though I remember our days with Butterfly Conservation fondly - and we had 14 Tigers (in moth form) on our balcony on Tuesday morning. What would a collective noun for Jersey Tiger Moths be?  An Island of Jersey Tigers?  A Channel of Jersey Tigers? Apparently the collective noun for tigers as such is an "ambush". But as tigers are not pack animals, it is a term not often used.  It is quite a warning though.

It was the monthly get together with my fellow Fantastic Book authors on Monday night - which always inspires me to want to start writing again.  Though my witnessing letters and blog mean I do keep active, writing-wise.

Wednesday was our morning with the hospitable Lady of the Flowers.  And it was Col's evening meeting with the Detectorists.  He left very early this morning, laden with sandwiches, cake from the freezer, and metal detectors to get back out to The Field.

And Bea and I had a long chat on the phone - remembering the days when we were not housebound, and some of our outings of old.

And, to end on a butterfly note in memory of Richard, Col is seeing quite a few Clouded Yellows in the fields where they detect. Glad to know that this amazing and exquisite butterfly is still with us.  Richard is one of those who played a part in trying to protect and preserve the butterfly world.

Three Tigers on our Balcony

THE TIGER

by Hilaire Belloc

The tiger, on the other hand,

Is kittenish and mild,
And makes a pretty playfellow
For any little child.
And mothers of large families
(Who claim to common sense)
Will find a tiger well repays
The trouble and expense.

I had better quickly add, in these litigious times, do NOT try this at home children, or mothers.  Well, not until after Armageddon, when nature is no longer "red in tooth and claw".

We started August off in splendid tiger-style with 3 Jersey Tiger moths on our balcony - and they have turned up every morning so far.

I watched a youtube video about the reintroduction of Bison into a Kent woodland. What wonderful curators of the wood they are, and how close they came to extinction - almost literally a hairsbreadth.

It is here: https://www.facebook.com/reel/991535107047282    and well worth a watch.

The inspired definition of faith at Hebrews 11:1 was brought out in the talk on Sunday.  Writing under inspiration, Paul said: "Faith is the assured expectation of what is hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities that are not seen."

Faith must be based on reason, on logic.  Or what is to stop us from believing that the moon is made of green cheese and worrying that Elvis is eating his way through it from the dark side?

And it was the beauty of the creation that told me there had to be a Creator. But for me to find him, and to be able to say thanks, I had to talk to the Jehovah's Witnesses who called as it was they who opened my eyes to what the Bible on my shelf had been telling me all along.

I am so thankful they called that day.  It was a long time ago, but I can remember hesitating on the door and thinking well, I have been looking for some time and not found the answers. I'll ask them in and hear them out, maybe they have a piece of the puzzle.  It sounded unlikely to me then, but I asked them in. And I listened.

I been part of the congregated people of Jehovah ever since, in that I have been taught as part of his congregation ever since that moment - nearly 40 years ago!

Once again I note how quickly the time goes, how the years fly by - or is it just that our lives are so short now, so quickly over?

A busy day lies ahead, two Zoom sessions this morning, two this afternoon, plus Col's Zoom with his brothers a bit later.

The School

 

Me at school - Notre Dame - many years ago. I am end middle row, left as you look at it.  One of the girls beside me died some years ago, the other has lived in NZ for many years.

I had a part in the Ministry School on Thursday, which prompted the heading and photo for this blog. And how kindly, gently and patiently Jehovah teaches us.  So different from one's schooldays, which I hated with a passion.  Though I suppose they did their best with the massive classes of the post war babyboom.

This has been a difficult week - for me, in my state, now.  I have managed to get to our Bible student to conduct the study. We get such a lovely warm welcome from the hospitable Lady of the Flowers. Then I had a part in the meeting at the Hall last night, and after praying and the help of my gallant valet and chauffeur Captain B I was there in person not pixel. The script is below.

And then - aarrgghh - I had two medical appointments today.  The first a blood test in the morning - complicated these days by the condition of my skin, but accomplished without - so far! -  a massive bruise. Then a scan - bonescan - in the afternoon.

It meant a long drive through holiday traffic - poor old Col. But we did it. And he says we can get fish and chips for supper- a rare treat.

Here is the script for Thursday. I had a wonderful Householder which helped.  You will see that I have featured my medical woes.

Brief:

4. Starting a Conversation

(4 min.) INFORMAL WITNESSING. Find a natural way to let the person know that you are one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. (lmd lesson 2 point 4)

4. Be patient. Do not feel that you must introduce a Bible truth immediately. Wait for the right opportunity so that you can bring it up naturally. Sometimes, this may mean waiting until the next conversation you have with the person.

Setting: In Waitrose, having coffee

HH:  Do you mind if I join you - I think this is the only chair left.

Sue:  Of course.  It’s always busy in the Waitrose cafe isn’t it?

HH;  Yes.  We usually come here for a coffee after our Tuesday shop. But it does seem extra busy today.  I won’t be long anyway. I am just waiting for my husband. He had a dental appointment this morning, so he dropped me off here to get the shopping done.  We then have to rush off for a hospital appointment in Worthing, for a scan.

Sue:  Oh dear you are having a medical day of it! I do sympathise, sometimes life seems to be nothing but one medical appointment after another.  Anyway, I do hope this scan will put your mind at rest

HH:  Thanks, but it is all so stressful.  And it’s a worry too what is happening with the health service.  I have had to wait ages for this scan and they have already cancelled on me once.   We are hoping that this new Prime Minister might be able to improve things. 

Sue:  I am sure he will do his best.  But it’s not easy, the Health Service is an immense machine with immense demands being made on it and I don’t know that one person, one government, can really cope with it, no matter how good their intentions.

HH;  That is a point.  It’s like this climate change we seem to be going through.  Which is getting frightening now, but somehow governments seem powerless to sort things out.

Sue:  Yes, these fires in France and Spain are terrifying. What is really needed I have come to realise is what they call a one world government, one that could tackle the problems of the whole human family, in a properly organised way.

HH:  Well, I do understand why you say that. But I must admit the thought of any government having that kind of power is a scary one.

Sue: I couldn’t agree with you more.  We have already seen what some governments, some rulers have done with the limited power they have - the suffering, the millions dead.  But I wasn’t thinking of a human government, I was thinking of something else.  Can I ask you, have you ever said the Lord’s Prayer?

HH:  (surprised).  The Lord’s Prayer.  Well, yes, we used to say it every day in school assemblies. And of course at church when we used to go with my parents.

Sue:  Yes, I too said it many times, in my schooldays. Do you remember how it began?

HH:  For sure:  Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy Kingdom come.

Sue:  Yes.  But have you ever thought about what we were praying for when we asked for God’s Kingdom to come?

HH:   Now that you ask, no, I never thought about it.

Sue:  Neither had I for so many years. It wasn’t until two Jehovah’s Witnesses called at my door one day and asked me the same question that I began to wonder. And I found out what we were praying for is for a government that CAN put things right on the earth, the heavenly one.  And I would love to show you a verse from the Bible explaining that which was shown to me.  But is that your husband approaching, waving rather urgently at us?

HH:  Oh yes, I must be off. But, listen, what you just said is so interesting, I would love to hear more.

Sue: Could we meet up here next Tuesday at this time, after we have done our shopping,  have a coffee and maybe I could show you and your husband the Bible verse I mentioned?

HH:  Yes, I’m quite intrigued by this.

Sue: Could we have a quick exchange of phone numbers before you go, just in case either of us can’t make it.  I’m Sue by the way.

HH;  Yes. Good idea. And I’m HH.

Sue. Look forward to seeing you next week, HH.   And I do hope the scan goes well.                                                          

Canary Shoulders

This is a recent visitor to our balcony - a Canary-shouldered Thorn moth.

Given the number of moths on our balcony, I would say it is a good moth year. And we are apparently heading back into the heatwave. I hope we will get some rain beforehand though. It is already beginning to look like Autumn as the trees are having to shed their leaves. There are fearsome fires in France and Spain.

How clear it is that we need a worldwide government that can perfectly control the weather. Which brings me right back to the Kingdom of God, the heavenly government, with Jesus at its head.  Remember when he calmed the storm on the Sea of Galilee, and his followers said:  "What sort of person is this?  Even the winds and the sea obey him."

Isn't that the ruler we need?

Saturday morning there were loads of micro-moths all over the Moth Hotel and our balcony walls. Though it still hasn't reached the stage some years ago when it seems the whole of the wall under the balcony light was awash with Moth, it is a year of moth-abundance.

I wish I could manage a poem, or at least a verse, to celebrate.  In fact, here goes:

Our moth hotel has room for all/and room for campers on the wall/weary travellers see our light/and from the sea they find respite/they may seem made of lacy stuff/but, fragile-looking, they are tough.

We spend most evenings out on our balcony at the moment - with a glass of home made wine, Col with his binoculars seeing and reporting on what is out on the English Channel, and me talking about old times.  And wondering how much longer we have to be together.

I am hoping we can be together forever, in the restored earthly paradise.  Not so sure about Captain B - well not if Rachel from Countdown is available.  I have assured him that she is already spoken for, so he has NO chance. 

Zoom's Most Wanted?

 

A photo shot from the family Zoom session on Monday morning.  Oh dear...  though it does include the lovely youngest member of the extended family (on my side).  But what happened to the rest of us once young siblings?!

I am thinking of the ending of a Thomas Hardy poem:  

A ghost-girl-rider. And though, toil-tried,
            He withers daily,
            Time touches her not,
            But she still rides gaily
            In his rapt thought
            On that shagged and shaly
            Atlantic spot,
            And as when first eyed
Draws rein and sings to the swing of the tide.

https://poets.org/poem/phantom-horsewoman

After his wife, Emma, died, the past- their courting days in Cornwall, came back to Hardy vividly, and he wrote so movingly about them. It is the line about withering daily that is resonating with me at the moment.

We saw my Bible student on Wednesday. Col was out detecting with the lads in a distant Field on Thursday - found nothing himself, but 4 gold items were found. And I pulled myself together a bit - the pain has somewhat abated, got a load of washing done, did my studying for the evening meeting, and (I had hoped) made an apple crumble.

However, not only am I breaking down, but now our oven has - the crumble warmish but uncooked after nearly an hour... and my shower no longer works and is having to be replaced. What next?!

I guess our flat and its appliances must be a good thirty years old by now.

On the doubleplusgood side (an acknowledgement of the Orwellian world we find ourselves living in)... well, I was interrupted and my train of thought has vanished.

Oh yes, it was the new study we began on Thursday night, from the book "Walk Courageously With God", which you can find on JW.org, in the library.  It is full of examples of the courageous faithful men and women of old, as recorded in the Inspired Scriptures, and is really going to make us think about how Jehovah supported them and how we can emulate them IF we rely on Jehovah's support.

And for someone like myself, who has a backbone of solid custard, Jehovah's support is all I can rely on, and I know I can get through anything IF I rely on him.  The year long study of these Biblical examples is going to help all of us so much.

Though I must also add how grateful I am for Captain Butterfly's constant support, and for always making me laugh.  You have a lot of running jokes when you have been married a long time.  And that is also something I must thank Jehovah for too, as He is the originator of the marriage arrangement.  And He also teaches us how to have a happy marriage, a loving partnership.

And what a precious thing that is.

Pippa's Song

Pippa's Song  by Robert Browning

And the day’s at the morn,
Morning‘s at seven;
The hillside’s dew-pearled
The lark‘s on the wing
The snail’s on the thorn;
God is in His heaven
All’s right with the world.

This always brings tears to my eyes.  Pippa passes through the corrupted world, the spoilt paradise, singing, her song reminding us of what we have lost and of the paradise earth to come - because Jehovah IS in his heaven, and He WILL put all right with the world. That is the wonderful reassuring message of the Bible - from Paradise lost, to Paradise regained.

Will the poet, his wife Elizabeth Barrett, and their son Pen wake from the dreamless sleep of death one day to find that truly all is right with the world?  I hope so.

In the meantime, we had a nice day with family on Saturday.  The little one, 3 years old, spent a lot of time on the balcony, drawing - and also had a good time on the beach and in the playground.  She added some treasures to her pebble and shell collection too.  

I have known Linda, Evie's gran, since she was a little girl herself, when Col and I first began a'courting. And now she is a grandma of three lovely girls with another one imminent.

The strangeness of time passing...

The flowers were a pressie from our guests, along with a bottle of wine.

And Pippa's song seems just right for Evie.  A dear little creature, full of the joy of life.  And she said a charming  "Thank you for having me" as she left.  

Apparently she loves being outside.  Which takes me back to my own youth in post WW2 Sheffield, food rationing, bomb sites, and the whole town black with soot from the steel foundries. We played out all the time.  And one of my earliest memories is of being outside in the stone walled back garden of a little friend. It was May and we were playing shop with flowers and petals.  I remember how the white blossom shone against the black paving, and it gave me such a feeling of happiness.

I think of it now as a paradise feeling, just a glimpse of that lovely garden our first parents once lived in so happily.  For sure it was not paradise back then, but there are still glimpses of it everywhere. So can they remind us that it is not gone for good?  If what the Bible promises is true, as I believe, there is more happiness ahead for us, right here on the earth, than we can now imagine.

The Beauty of the Underwing

 

This beautifully designed creature is a Broad Bordered Yellow Underwing.  It checked in and out of our balcony moth hotel a few days ago.

It ought to inspire a wonderful poem, but I don't seem to be up to it any more...  beauty of the underwing/makes my heart sing... There was a young Under of Wing, so lovely it needed no bling...

I can't thank Jehovah for this lovely world from a perfect heart yet, but I hope that both the Captain and I, and all those we love, will be able to one day.

That will be such a moment when and if it comes.

We have family visitors coming at the weekend - a rare thing these days, compared to our first years by the sea when we had family and friends down all summer. So many of them are no longer with us, or no longer able to travel. We were talking about them on the balcony last night.  Our good friends Chuck and Mary - Ralph - Janie - Diane - all the uncles and aunts... and so many others.  Our parents - though only Col's mum ever came here. She used to like coming though and would sit and watch all the goings-on on The Green for ages.

And of course Jackie...  who was so much a part of our retirement.  We can and do visit her in her Home when I am able to travel there - not so often now - but she is a limited version of herself. 

I had to go through my notes from the Convention as we discussed what we had learnt at the meeting on Thursday night.  I did manage to extract a few gems from the scrawl, but overall I think what the Convention left me with was the very comforting thought of how much love and sympathy Jesus - and therefore his father, Jehovah  (as he perfectly reflects his Father's qualities) - feel for us, and how much they want to help us.

And we, the children of Adam, need to feel this love and sympathy for each other.  And help each other.  Not constantly let "the world" and our own imperfections force us in the opposite direction.

My bro and sister-in-law in Germany have just experienced such a tragedy, a close friend, a young friend, has been killed in the war in The Ukraine. She was visiting family.  Such a senseless and cruel waste.  I might write a bit more about it in another blog.

It's not as warm as it was. which is fine by me.  I almost wanted a woolly on when we were out on the balcony last night.   In theory the Big Heat is over for the moment.

In a lot of pain still. And I remember talking sternly to myself when I hit seventy - and how young that seems now - that it was not going to get easier and that I must be grateful for every day. And now, with Eighty looming up in the rear view mirror and about to overtake me, I must cling on to that thought even more

Family visits today.  I am providing a sandwich lunch. Which is why I must now post this and get myself started.  I am hoping for a brief refreshing dip into the Zoom field service first.