Autumn/Winter or The Ashes of my Youth

Sonnet 73: That time of year thou mayst in me behold

By William Shakespeare

That time of year thou mayst in me behold 
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see'st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west,
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death's second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the death-bed whereon it must expire,
Consum'd with that which it was nourish'd by.
This thou perceiv'st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45099/sonnet-73-that-time-of-year-thou-mayst-in-me-behold


I can't say it better than Shakespeare. Obviously. To love that well which I must leave before long. Autumn is so lovely.  The death of leaves is beautiful, and its meant, part of a complex process that renews both leaf and tree. We have been doing quite a lot of driving recently through the Fall, and the loveliness of it all just lifts the heart.

I feel it ought to inspire me to a poem, but I can't even begin to do it justice.

In sharp contrast, our deaths are not beautiful, as we were not designed to die.  Our first parents were made to live forever.  My body will soon wear out, hopefully before my brain does, and I will have to leave Captain Butterfly and this lovely earth, and enter the dreamless sleep of death.  But I don't want to.

Both Col and I are down with horrible colds - him first, and then me. Unavoidable I guess, as everyone seems to have one.  At least it is not Covid, or flu.  And the weather is suddenly colder - a lot colder. It will be a cruel thing if we are in for a bad winter just as the government has taken the winter fuel allowance away.

Politics seems more devious and topsy turvy than ever, in that it was a Conservative government who gave us the fuel allowance and a Labour government who has taken it away.

Well, once again I see how much we need the heavenly government, the Kingdom of God. It is no good expecting too much of any human government, they can only do what they can do, which is so limited.

And in case this blog has been a bit too melancholy, I am still loving being alive - every day is a bonus now.  And I am loving being back in touch with Krysia. We were at the same convent school many many years ago - when Sheffield was covered with primeval forest (and convent schools).

Poor Col has just gone coughing and sneezing by, having fixed my computer for me, in some amazing way. I must go and see if I can make us both a Lemsip...

A Smuggler's Song

A Smuggler's Song (1906)
Rudyard Kipling

IF you wake at midnight, and hear a horse's feet
Don't go drawing back the blind, or looking in the street,
Them that ask no questions isn't told a lie.
Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by.

Five and twenty ponies,
Trotting through the dark -
Brandy for the Parson, 'Baccy for the Clerk.
Laces for a lady; letters for a spy,
Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by!

Running round the woodlump if you chance to find
Little barrels, roped and tarred, all full of brandy-wine,
Don't you shout to come and look, nor use 'em for your play.
Put the brishwood back again - and they'll be gone next day !

If you see the stable-door setting open wide;
If you see a tired horse lying down inside;
If your mother mends a coat cut about and tore;
If the lining's wet and warm - don't you ask no more !

If you meet King George's men, dressed in blue and red,
You be careful what you say, and mindful what is said.
If they call you " pretty maid," and chuck you 'neath the chin,
Don't you tell where no one is, nor yet where no one's been !

Knocks and footsteps round the house - whistles after dark -
You've no call for running out till the house-dogs bark.
Trusty's here, and Pincher's here, and see how dumb they lie
They don't fret to follow when the Gentlemen go by !

'If You do as you've been told, 'likely there's a chance,
You'll be give a dainty doll, all the way from France,
With a cap of Valenciennes, and a velvet hood -
A present from the Gentlemen, along 'o being good !

Five and twenty ponies,
Trotting through the dark -
Brandy for the Parson, 'Baccy for the Clerk.
Them that asks no questions isn't told a lie -
Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by!

https://www.poetrybyheart.org.uk/poems/a-smugglers-song

This is another poem I remember from my childhood, but I did not realise it was by Kipling until Col bought me Puck of Pook's Hill.  It is a very dramatic poem, and makes think about what a dangerous occupation smuggling was - just one person talking and you could hang - or perhaps be deported, at best.

I think I found it vividly scary.  What if you forgot, and did say something?!  And of course the Cornwall of the 1950s was not as far from those days as it is now.  I am assuming this was set in Cornwall, in the world of Jamaica Inn.  Jamaica Inn itself is a dramatic place in a dramatic setting by the way - well worth a visit, though perhaps out of the holiday/coach party season. And the book Jamaica Inn certainly does not glamourise the danger and horror of the smuggling/wrecking profession. You would indeed be scared of them. And scared for them, knowing the consequences.

What a protection Jehovah's standards of honesty are though!  If we will listen  to our Creator, we will not only have more happiness to look forward to than we can now imagine, but we will benefit ourselves so much right now. As God told us thousands of years ago, through the prophet Isaiah: 

“I, Jehovah, am your God,
The One teaching you to benefit yourself,
The One guiding you in the way you should walk.
If only you would pay attention to my commandments!
Then your peace would become just like a river
And your righteousness like the waves of the sea."

- Isaiah 48:17,18

These words are as true today as they were then, they will guide us as safely now as they did then.

Roger is continuing his travels, and he has just sent us a short video of a real steam train!  Back to childhood for all of us. I don't know exactly where the train was - somewhere in The Americas,  guess.  And he messaged to say that the little parcel I sent arrived, just in time.  Hurray.  I have emailed Bruce to say that my reply to his latest email will be couriered to his door.

Puck of Pook's Hill

Roger seems to be continuing his travels successfully, spanning continents, and I have posted a package off to him that he will pick up en route to the airport for his return flight, containing a letter for Bruce, and a card for Anne.

Col brought me Puck of Pook's Hill from the book exchange. I always hand over two for the one I take, as I am trying to shrink my bookshelves back to manageable proportions.  We only have a two bed flat.

I have never read it before, but I can see from the first chapter that it is going to teach me a lot about the history of Sussex.  It is a charming County, and the photo above is of a Sussex sunrise seen from our balcony.  The book contains some poems I have loved since childhood. 

There is this one for example:

Cities and Thrones and Powers

Rudyard Kipling

Cities and Thrones and Powers 

Stand in Time's eye, 

Almost as long as flowers, 

Which daily die: 

But, as new buds put forth

To glad new men,

Out of the spent and unconsidered Earth,

The Cities rise again. 

This season's Daffodil,

She never hears 

What change, what chance, what chill,

Cut down last year's;

But with bold countenance, 

And knowledge small,

Esteems her seven days continuance

To be perpetual.

So Time that is o'er-kind

To all that be,

Ordains us e'en as blind,

As bold as she: 

That in our very death,

 And burial sure, Shadow to shadow, well persuaded, saith,

 "See how our works endure!"

https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poem/poems_cities.htm

Yes. That is such a good reminder that in Jehovah's eyes human history has lasted only a few days. We have not really even got started yet.  Our lives are so short now. And the meeting on Thursday night reminded us of this - that in God's eyes only six days have gone by since the loss of Eden.

Ever since then we have been living during the times during which "man has dominated man to his harm".  In shining contrast, Jehovah’s way of ruling is neither oppressive nor rigid. It allows for freedom and promotes joy.

Now Jehovah is the Spirit and where the spirit of Jehovah is, there is freedom. - 2 Corinthians 3:17

And living as a subject of the Kingdom of God, even now, in these difficult circumstances, I know that to be true.

While I don't always feel joyful  - not about the state of the world nor the state of my health - I do feel very grateful to be alive, and to have the hope of living forever on this lovely planet.

And Sunday morning's talk at the Hall was about the resurrection.  It makes me so happy to think that I may see my parents again if and when Jehovah wakes us from the dreamless sleep of death. That is one of the many joys Jehovah gives, right now, to all who serve him.

ENERGY and Einstein

The Captain's car is sick again.  It needs a new catalytic converter (or some such), which will take both time and money.  So he will be using my little car in the interim.

Roger came on Monday and stayed over.  He is doing another of his immense journeys seeing family and friends and taking in three continents in the process.  Amazing.  

It was lovely to see him again, and brought back so many happy memories. He is such good company.  And I also marvel at the energy he still has. He is only a year younger than me, the same age as the Captain in fact.  

They both have more energy than I do. Mind you, who doesn't these days?  However, the last Circuit Overseer talk of the week was  TIRED, BUT NOT TIRING OUT.  It was to remind us that Jehovah is the Source of energy, that he has a limitless supply of energy, and can give us energy if we will just ask.  

To give us a glimpse into what an immense Source of energy Jehovah is, the C.O. explained nuclear fission and the famous Einstein equation so simply that, for the first time ever, I understood it.

It may have  taken me over seventy years - well over - but, at last... and by the way, I put "power" into the search engine of Col's blog, the photo gallery, and came up with the above photo of Southwick Power Station.

Anyway, the C.O. explained that it takes an immense amount of energy to create even a small bit of matter - so when you reverse that, as in nuclear fission, and split just a tiny part of it, the power released is immense.

And that, apparently, is what Einstein's famous equation was all about.  

Then the C.O. talked about the size of the Milky Way in these terms - I am hoping that my notes are correct here: In one second light travels over 180,000 miles, so think, if you are up to the maths, how far it would travel in a year...  The word is mind-boggling.

The the C.O, asked us how long it would take for light to travel from one end of the Milky Way to the other.  The answer was apparently 100,000 years - that, bear in mind, is light years.  That is an immensity of time I can't really comprehend.  But the point the Speaker was making is to try to think about how much energy must it have taken to create that much matter - and to remember that the Milky Way is just a small part of the Universe, just a detail in its immensity.

Jehovah is the Source of all this energy. The Hebrew Scriptures told us that thousands of years ago.

And we can ask him to give us some of that energy so that we can keep going.

As Isaiah, speaking under inspiration, tells us:

“Lift up your eyes to heaven and see.

Who has created these things?

It is the One who brings out their army by number;

He calls them all by name.

Because of his vast dynamic energy and his awe-inspiring power,

Not one of them is missing."

- Isaiah 40:26

An Ex-expat Vibe (i.e. More Visits)

There must be an ex-expat vibe going on at the moment as we found out this week that another couple of friends from Planet Expat were travelling locally, and they came over for lunch on Sunday.  

We spent our last evening in the Middle East with Mike and Kim.  They drove us over the Causeway to Bahrain, and then treated us to supper at Senor Pacos - a great Tex-Mex restaurant. Senor Paco himself (or the equivalent) came out to load us with pressies and drinks on our last visit, as we had been there many times with friends over the years.  I never usually drink before or during a flight, but on this occasion I did sink a few margaritas.

Not only was it quite something to be leaving after 25 years, but also we had had a bit of a stressful moment on the Causeway as we left Saudi Arabia. We came through Saudi Customs and Passport, but the young lad at Passport Control had not seen an Exit-only Visa before and was not prepared to let us out.

The ramifications:  We could not go back to Saudi as we had no Entrance Visa anymore, and we could not progress to Bahraini customs - tantalisingly in view - until Saudi Customs let us out.  We were in No-Man's Land.  Col and Mike went off into an office with the young lad and after about 20 minutes came back with an older man who had no problems, stamped us out and we progressed to the next border.

Some years before that we had been to Mike and Kim's wedding in Jo'burg, my first and only visit to the vast continent of Africa.  We then travelled on down to The Cape to spend two weeks with Roger and Anne.  The Cape is one of the loveliest places we have ever seen and the photo that heads the blog is one that Col took on the strange and beautiful Tabletop - the top of Table Mountain.

And then on Saturday who should ring but Roger himself. We haven't seen him since before lockdown but  he is coming for lunch today and will stay over.

If they had all arrived on the same day it would have been an Aramco reunion.

I am wondering who might turn up next?!  And if we can maybe arrange a get together with Julia the next time we are 'oop North.  We are all getting so old now. Well, apart from Mike and Kim that is. They are still young.

Time rushes on frighteningly fast. I am now the oldest one left on my side of the extended family, and both the girls I shared a flat with my in my student days, Diana and Penny, have gone over that edge.

Damaged children of disobedient Adam that we all are, our lives are so short now, so quickly over.  And we feel the tragedy of it because, as the Bible says, Jehovah has "put eternity" into our hearts. We were made to live forever.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has even put eternity in their heart; yet mankind will never find out the work that the true God has made from start to finish. - Ecclesiastes 3:11

The size of the Milky Way came up in the fascinating last talk the Circuit Overseer gave us, and I cannot get my head round the amount of time it would take to explore that, to find out about it. And yet is only a tiny part of the Universe.

Isn't that why we need eternity?  And even so, we will never find it all out.  It is amazing and wonderful beyond comprehension.  Jehovah truly is the Grand Creator.

VISITS

We not only have the Circuit Overseer with the congregation this week, but we also had a visit from a couple of friends from Planet Expat - Bill and Carol!  Carol and I used to work together many years ago.

We last saw each other 5 years ago, when they were over from the States, visiting.  And given how old we all are, I did not know if they would want to be travelling all the way from the States again.  So it was such a lovely surprise.  They came for lunch and we spent the afternoon together. It brought back many memories, even though we didn't talk all that much about old times.  We have all kept pretty busy in our retirements.

I found a photo of one of our desert camping trips to head this blog - but sadly, for the four of us, our camping days are over  Though if we "inherit the earth" and live forever upon it, as I hope we will, who knows what wonderful things we might be doing then.  Maybe we will be able to camp out on the red sands of Mars one day, for an off-earth weekend?

After they left us they visited Arundel Castle, which we had recommended to them. The gardens are so lovely, especially the walled kitchen garden at the top of the hill, and to step into the Chapel is like entering an episode of Wolf Hall - it's like a time machine.  You will recognise the names on the memorial tombs.

Carol said on fb today they had really enjoyed their castle visit. 

The first C.O.Talk was: MUSTER UP BOLDNESS FOR THE DOOR TO DOOR PREACHING WORK.

There was loads of good advice and good experiences, all so encouraging.  But I would need to muster up some better health before I can get back to it.  I know how important it is, it is what Jesus taught his followers to do when he was on the earth, and it was the way I found the truth myself. It was brought to my door by Ruby and Wilhelmina, all those years ago.

I hope never to forget that I learnt more about what the Bible on my shelf says during that first 20 minute visit than I did in all my years of churchgoing, both Catholic and Protestant.

In the meantime, the best I can do is to continue with my letters - going letterbox to letterbox - which I plan to be doing this morning.

There has been flooding in the UK after heavy rain overnight - Col reported from The Field somewhere in the Hampshire Badlands yesterday that he was sheltering in the car from a torrential downpour.  While here the sun was shining, but the wind was so strong that I was not able to sit out on the balcony and study - books blowing about too much.  It was beautiful though, with a splendidly whitehorsey sea.

It is such a wonderful world, there is such power in the creation, yet such tender beauty too.  

Sugar Daddy Hunt

While browsing some 60 Minutes Doccos on YouTube I came across this one:  SUGAR DADDY HUNT, WHEN YOUNG WOMEN CHASE RICH OLD MEN.

I wondered aloud if I had left it too late for such a lucrative career.

 "I'd say so." said Captain B. 

"But, on the other hand, I might be OK, given how bad their eyesight would be," I mused.

 "It'd have to be really bad!" said Captain B, putting paid to my career aspirations.

And a good thing too when I think of what money cannot buy.  We are doing a lot of balcony sitting these days watching the sunsets - see the pic above, for example.  And we spent Friday night talking about old times, our travelling days, and occasionally holding hands over the geraniums.  No matter how rich the terminally short-sighted elderly billionaire who fell for my charms might be, no matter how many jewel-encrusted solid gold zimmers he promised to buy me, he could not share all these memories with me.

Col and I were talking about our trip to Scotland, to that amazing old hotel at Durness; seeing the Milky Way in the Tasmanian sky - such clear clear skies  there, the next stop being the shimmering ice of the empty Antarctic. And he knew and remembers my parents and I knew and remember his, Ron and Eileen, my in-laws.

You can't buy that fifty plus years of shared memories.  And it makes me wonder what 500 years of shared memories will be, 5,000 years?  We will have so much to talk over then as we sit watching the sun set.  That is what I hope we will have, as it is the hope the Bible holds out.

And talking of 50 plus years of marriage, we are certainly in the Medical Stage.  One of us is always having to take our blood pressure for our GP. This week its me.

Oh dear. But I am indeed very grateful to be here still, and we have the Circuit Overseer week coming up, starting today, which is something to look forward to.